so...there's actually a bunch of random stuffs i want to fill this blogpost with...but since i'll be out and about in a few hours and i've been busy preparing stuffs...i don't think i can manage to fit everything in here....like...i want to share the latest song i translated/subbed...(not a new song btw...i'm just bored and i've been listening to the song for days...so why not sub it since nobody already did?) but i'm not sure if i have the time to do the hardsub...for now(actually i already completed the sub yesterday and could've done with the vid already but....no thanks to what i talked about in my previous blogpost that had my head in the clouds that i'm in danger of starting a new fic, i was distracted from completing it)...so...-_-...

also....today...i've been feeling a little down....bcuz of guilt. a great weight...i never knew lying would be so suffocating...n causing such misery....when i see people lie without batting an eyelash regularly...well...some people lie to survive...some for convenience...some for enjoyment...and some to...torment...in my case...i'd say...it's to survive....the pride of not only me....but those i cared for...even if it sounds like an excuse...it weighs heavily on me...that i blurted them...succumbed to it...even though it does no harm to anyone but my mental...it feels absolutely horrible...i always thought lying is common...and that we do it without even realizing it day to day...i guess....those are the tiny 'white' lies? if there even is such thing? i need to change lie into truth....but idk if i could...or if God would let me...after such lies T^T....as you'd know....this kinda thing....either you stop it and face the frightening consequences of your own mistake...or the lie will only snowball into bigger n bigger mess....which is why i hope to have to choose neither...

wow...i ended up writing about it more than i think i would....

and while i was browsing mindlessly and clicking my profile aimlessly...i found something surprising...

Umm....how did my fic(not even one i think i'll ever complete) end up being advertised there? do they like advertise fics randomly at the bottom of the page? i freaked out....at first when i see ads of those random fics today i thought...oh...somebody wrote a fic about a drama i liked? maybe i ought to check it out....then i realized...it's...mine....lmao. 

i mean....i ought to be happy....but....if this is by random....why this fic? whyyy? why not fics i completed like Floral Rain(one of my prides...and it'll make you ship KevKwang <3), or Mr Romantic & Miss Popular(well, my most well received/popular fic so far, since i'm no popular writer and i got readers for this one because i wrote it during Romantic & Idol was airing and ppl were looking for related fics) or S.P.E.C.T.A.C.U.L.A.R(well, it could help ppl learn about each ZE:A members n maybe become a fan?) or Bukan Sendirian(my malay fic that nobody would read on their own since it featured nobody popular but it's pretty darn well written with beautiful message i must say even if i have to praise myself lol...another of my pride obv) or Love Song in May(the beginning of my all-OC monthly series...that i've stopped in October installment n never got back to continue lol) or Bug(incomplete, but another of my pride,...cuz...it's....unique lol) or One Less Lonely Night/Innocent (both compilation of onefics that are pretty....creepy/interesting?) or Even If A thousand Years Pass (which i don't think most ppl will understand because it's a mess and experimental form of poetry in story telling...but those who understand and love poetry might enjoy it?) or One to Want/Pieces of a Shattered Heart(drabble compilation and poetry compilation...)...or My Little Songbook(not even a fic...a compilation of my translation+subbed works...oh but i haven't updated the more recent works...but check it out and discover my world of songs :D) why of all fics....they chose....a fic i already marked as 'hiatus' which most likely mean 'indefinite hiatus aka forget it...)...this is...kinda embarrassing....can't i change it to another of my fics? lol....T^T

well...i guess it's still a nice surprise...luck? idk...do they really randomly advertise fics there? i thought back then you have to pay for any of it...now that i try to read it again...it was kind of dull n awkward...well, i don't write fics based on dramas that often...now that i've read a couple chapter...i wouldn't want to continue read if i were a reader....dang...why this fic? T^T....i'm pretty sure i have better ones...huwaaa...okay but as i reached the end...well, that was quite...well, it picked up...then i stopped lol....but the mysterious cheesy guy in the club that appeared in last updated chapter...somehow i knew which character from which drama he is even as i had forgotten my original intention of his identity when i wrote it back then...lol. now i wonder if i should continue it since i actually feel like the guy can totally make the story more interesting with his umm...characteristics.

anyway, as an apology for having a fic i probly won't complete being shoved to you....watch my fanvids of them instead :D

A Psycho's Love 

Unerasable Habit (this one actually had a plot of its own though idk how many noticed it...)

Alone Again (okay this one also had its own plot...but i prefer Unerasable Habit's plot personally)

anyway...i still have a lot of things to do so maybe i should stop here ey....

see ya when i see ya

ps: more distractions with all these beautiful fireworks n booming firecrackers...-_-...i remember when i was a kid....fireworks are so rare and such a luxury you can  only view from afar during New Years....but as years pass by...it become more n more common n appear in every freaking celebrations of all cultures here...and all cultures here combined....that's a whole lot of fireworks throughout the year...not even from afar...but in your neighbourhood....large n clear...and can be seen from like 10 angles....whaaa...how did fireworks become soooo common...? nevertheless....that's a delight n it's still as beautiful and majestic as ever....