I used to blog a bit, writing random thoughts that nobody wants to read, like a diary. Only now that I'm responsible for actually writing stories using the same account I'm like embarrassed and removed most emo ones dating from 2016 back to 2013.. It was really for myself and I forget people can actually read these. But sometimes I still want to just talk, like right now for instance. Maybe I'll regret this later like I often do, or maybe I'll be more intelligible and not so embarrassing this time. Yeah, let's aim for that.

Onehallyu has been down forever and will it be down forevermore? I hear they're revamping it, but will the old threads stay intact? I know it's not always a well-liked site and I've heard it's toxic in there sometimes, so in that sense a shutdown or cleanse sounds alright, but my point is that......

......the "chomi" thread there is actually pretty helpful for saving images and gathering moments. Well, I mean it's helpful to catch up on the past and gather the moments for me. I suppose that's pretty clear from the story that I've chosen to write haha. 

Not that I expect anyone to have known bc it was a quiet time back then, but I once put out blog posts here compiling moments from Nov~Dec 2016 when onehallyu happened to be down for some reason, and just from that it's pretty clear. I was that one user that posted large updates on the thread just of photos and tweets. >_<  

I can't remember how I even started doing that hahaha. It soon became a place for me to kinda save the moments and freeze it in time, and now I realise I was really getting onto something there!! Gah. Looking back on it, I'm like, I shouldn't have used onehallyu. I should've made my own documents ahahaha

If I could go back in time and relive life up to this point once more, I'd like to go back to 2011 and follow Apink avidly, organise my files as time goes and perhaps make full chobom compilation videos with what I've gathered too. Pretty much reliving Apink's career in a better light, more grateful of the time. Wow, can you imagine that... Am I being sentimental? ㅜㅜ

But of course, that's with the idea that I wouldn't have to relive my own life back from 2011 lol, nononono. I was a literal child, and school REEKS I can't go back. 

Internet timetravelling it is then! (＾▽＾)

Maybe as a final note, I should say something about the few things I added in the past on the gays speculation thread. I have a push and pull with what I've contributed myself. I feel a little weird.. because really, ppl don't talk about apink on there, and so, as a panda adding something I come across as trying to convince non-pandas and it's like, why?? 

Idk, I feel like everytime I did that, I was excited but wasted my energy. And then if you don't say anything, it's kept contained within the fandom, and that can be good in it's own way, perhaps preventing the media from latching onto it, if that's what they do? But I think that other fandoms like with moonsun and moomoos, twice, red velvet, they're so very out there with the gayness and celebrating it across fandoms like they don't care, at least in my point of view. By adding to that thread in the past, I wanted to share my own excitement around I guess? AHHH THIS TOPIC what am I saying

Basically, I can never help this confused-almost-unwanted-shameful feeling I get in myself from whenever I tried to contribute to that thread, when maybe ideally I shouldn't feel that way. I haven't posted there since earlier this year and the website's been down now for ages but I felt like saying that.

I'll just stay here. Within the fandom. Where it's safer.