"Everyone has their demons to fight." I keep hearing that from people but what bothers me is what if I am my own demon? What if I am fighting myself and there is no chances of winning or winning could mean dying? Actually, I am bothered by that months ago but right now, I know I am my own demon, I know that winning means losing my life. Isn't that ironic? I would win the game of life but I have to die. Am I the only who is bothered by this? Am I the only one whose demon is himself? Or you are too but you don't want to admit it?

They say demons are monsters, evils who causes harm or distress, is it possible that I am a demon to myself but an angel to others? I would always tell my friends that I have my demons too but I can't say that I am the demon because for them I am their innocent angel with the bright smile that could bring everyone happiness but the problem is they can't see through that bright smile, they're too blinded by the light that it makes them ignore the darkness within me. But do you want to know what's more frustrating? Is that I don't want them to see the darkness, I want them to only know the bright me, I want them to believe and cling to the idea that I am angel but I am no angel, I am just a wolf with a sheep's skin. You would ask me, why do I do that? Do I want to protect them from the truth? Oh god no, I am selfish, I am only doing this for myself because I also want to believe that I am no demon inside, and maybe believing in the lie for a long time would make it the truth.