hi guys. something just happened and i have no where to rant, so i'll just rant here i guess. please bear with me, i am very longwinded and i can get off-topic at times. 

so i have 2 groups of friends - friend a and friend b. 

friend a does not like friend b. 

friend b does not like friend a.

i like both a lot, even though i really on b sometimes cuz theyre just so uGh i cant stand them. 

both friend a and b have a crush on the same guy - c. friend b tries to interact with him a lot and even staged for us to go out as a group outing. so i followed his instagram since he asked for mine and friend b's. 

so today, friend a found out about c's ig and saw that i was following him, and i cracked a joke saying "it's okay, there's still d!" d being her crush from 2 years ago. 

i know it's a thing to do, and now she's angry at me, igues. she said she's not, but she's replying to me like "Lol" and "K" and when i asked if we're good after sending her a long apology, she's like "Lol are we?" 

ugh. i treasure her very much and i don't want things to turn awkward between us. i'm also kinda mad at her cuz she didnt think of how i'd feel! being in the middle of all this, keeping everyone's secrets, does she think i like it? i made lots of efforts to have good friendships with everyone, even the ones i dislike so as to avoid any trouble.

but now she wants to be like this?

she hasn't really bothered me much, and this is our first "problem", i guess. 

oh, she also mentioned that she knows it's my life and all, my friends and stuff and she cant do anything. she wont break our friendship just cuz of a guy, it's unworthy and all. but her attitude now? it's like it's my problem that both of them like the same guy, sorry but im not interested anyway, also i didnt eveb think about letting you know his ig. why would i keep thinking about his ig anyway? its not like im the one who has a crush on him anyway. 

this .

thank you for listening to my ted talk. 

edit(the next day): 

so the first encounter was a little harsh. i went uo to her outside our class where we're waiting for the teacher to come, and i was like "hey my bro!" and i put my arm on her shoulder. she flung it away. 

that's okay. i proceeded to sit opposite her in the round table and try to make attempts to like make her laugh or something like in the past, but she just like ignOred eye contact with me. 

that's okay too. 

so the teacher finally came(we were having math). friend e, who needed help with a question took my paper and she too, took it and passed it back to me. this was already around 30mins into the lesson and i was thinking about everything, i almost had a breakdown session. she probably noticed the aura and FINAlly turned around and handed me the worksheet, saying, "hey bro im not angry or anything, im just faking it HAHAHAHA"

,

i was so TILted and glad that she didnt mean it, literally i felt like a huge boulder was lifted off my shoulders and i felt better. 

after school, we kinda chatted about guy c and i finally did it - i told her a quarter of things i know about c thru friend a, and we slowly warmed up again. kinda pisses me off that she messages me first cuz she wanted to know more about the guy, like tbh i think her chances w him is very slim. 

she even admitted that shes THIS desperate and i cant help but to silently agree.

and there's that. 

thank you for coming to my ted talk 2.