I feel that I should put this out there in case anyone feels wronged by me in any way.

If you do feel like I've wronged you or abandoned you, please message me asap. I will clear it up and apologize with all my soul because I never mean to do that. Ever.

Some of you I'm sure have seen/heard from me that there are times I get high levels of social anxiety or really bad days.

On these days, I may not feel like talking at all or perhaps I can't because I'm stopping myself. But I do still answer here and there.

I don't mean it to be that I don't want to talk to this person one day and then we're friends next week or something.

I get that it seems that way, I won't deny it.

On my severe social anxiety days or even my tolerable anxiety days, I always push myself to try and talk and not let myself be a hermit crab and close myself away from everyone. So, I do my best to reply to what I can or who I can, as much as I can before I reach a breaking point or limit.

I apologize if I don't get to you on the same day we message or if I reply the following week...

I really don't mean to make anyone feel like I'm ignoring them. 

Some days I get so down, I want to delete all my stories or deactivate or delete my account entirely or I have weak days where the consistent pain of my chronic health condition overwhelms me or I have a family matter going on again that really makes me empty inside and I just need to be alone.. or lastly, I'm all sorts of bananas and mixed emotions and not functioning properly so I can't even think of a coherent response without my migraine attacking me or mood swings going full throttle on my . Sometimes it affects my mind and honestly I can't remember the last 5 seconds or even what happened during my week or day. (Like legit my family found me staring off in the kitchen and I was giggling for no reason and crying from the pain but like I was munching on uncooked vegetables like I'm the Japanese host for Iron Chef ok. I go crazy and idek it.)

Days like these I try my best to sound like me. I can reply to little things or obligatory duties like my RLD Shop. There are times I try to reply back to important messages or be there when someone needs me, but I still find myself staring off randomly without knowing when I started and after I snap out of it tbh I can't remember what I was doing or what I had to say to whom.

And I sincerely apologize that yes I will forget people some days or I forget our conversation that it was my turn to reply.. It's not intentional so please... please forgive me. I feel extremely guilty that it makes me want to cry because this isn't how I used to be. I don't feel like myself at all...

Yes, I admit it at last on here. Everything I'm going through really  and is insanely hard on me. On top of this stressful situation, I have to force myself to stay calm and not stressed because if not, it actually triggers my Lupus which means I will be in a load of pain.

So while I somewhat have my wits about me right now, I really want to say I'm sorry and I hope everyone understands.. I don't ask that you understand what I'm going through or even to help me. I only ask for your patience with me and for your forgiveness if I unintentionally hurt you.

For everyone that knows how/who I am, I'm very sorry I'm not myself lately.. I pray you always remember my real personality and my heart. Thank you for still sticking by me through all of this ♡

So, I thought in order to help me fix this with a temporary solution while I'm still getting used to my treatments and waiting to see a Neurologist again, I came up with a small system. Using my wall as a ...people-memo of sorts.

If I haven't messaged you in awhile, you think I've forgotten you or our conversation or your request-- or for anything, really. Please just send me a friendly reminder on my wall to respond or something - whatever it is I need a reminder of. 

If you need me to be there for you, message me on my wall that you do and you know I will be there to virtually hold your hand or hug you ;×; You will be priority. I promise.

If you want me to update a story or I forgot to post chapters I promised to post that day, post on my wall a message or a reminder.

Just.. let me know if you need anything. Spam me if you must, I won't be upset.

I can't keep doing this to people without an explanation or a solution..

So I hope this works out and I pray that all the friends here I've made, can still accept me and call me a friend :/

I'm sorry, everyone... my friends and readers...

I love you all.