I don't know what to anymore

Hey guys....I don't know what to do anymore, My story has drowned me in a wave of saddnes that I'm struggling to swim out of. My latest story that i'm working on is called Adopted by BTS, this story that I am currently working on contains the BTS members struggling with depression, abuse, suicidal thoughts, an drug addiction. I never intended the story to be this way, i inteded it to be romantic, a bit funny, and sweet, I wanted it be about Taehyung and jungkook adopting sweet, lonely, and innocent orphane child, who's despretly in need of a loing family, and they have to work around their busy schedules to love and take care her, but always find the time to, but instead my story turned into a story full of hurt, pain, saddness, and betrayal, Namjoon manipulates Jin to physicaly assult the other members of BTS (btw i know namjoon's not a bad person ,I love him, he's a wonderful and amazing leader and bts wouldn't be same without him), J-Hope struggles with a drug addiction, Jungkook suffers from a nearly fatal accident resulting in him becoming a completely different person, something in Jimin's past caused him to struggle in his reletionships, Yoongi has suffered a injury inflicted by Jin causing brain damage, and amitst all the chaos Taehyung just wants a happy family.

 

I don't even know how it came to be this way, I guess because...stories are like a flower...they start out as seed that you plant in the earth, you water it, care for it and nurture it as it grows...but over time as it grows, it becomes larger and stronger, it takes on it's own being and entity...and soon...you lose all control over it. I've had many sleepless nights, thinking and pondering on this story of mine, thinking that maybe I should just delete this cruel story that I have created, because even though it's not real...it still deeply hurts my heart to imagine the members of BTS struggling, being hurt so badly and having to deal with such imense pain, I feel like just abandoning the story...but to me, my stories are like my children, so if i abandon my story...it would be like abandoning a child. but...At the same time...I feel as if I've gone too far to turn back, I feel like I've struggled enough so I should just finish it and attempt to end it happly. Writing is my passion, it's what I love to do. I love to write......but I hate writing this story.

So please help me guys, I just don't kno what to do anymore. Should i continue writing this deprssing story that's filled with misery?? Or should I just put aside all my morals and what I know is right andI just end the sorrow, and delete it for good? Please comment your ideas, advice, and thoughts. Thanks guys! I really need your advice!~<3

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Kpoploveralways #1
Hi. This might be a very late of a reply, but I just read your comment and I felt like I needed to. I used to write fanfiction, a lot of it. But even though I really enjoyed it and I really liked creating my own stories, I stood there one day not able to continue with the stories that I was writing. I stopped writing in 2016, most of the fanfiction that I was writing being left unfinished.

Yesterday, I uploaded a new chapter, three years after I last updated.

As human beings, I feel like we often feel this unexplainable need to finish things we started, and if we don't we just walk around and think about those unfinished things forever. But sometimes, things are better left unfinished. This is your story, your fanfiction, about characters that you really care about and love. If this story makes your heart hurt, makes your feel unhappy, then maybe it isn't worth the pain. I understand what you're saying about your stories being your children, because that's kind of how I feel as well, but just as we will have to let our children stand on their own if we have have some, we have to let our stories go.

But, if you feel like it is a story that needs to be finished, in order for you to feel at peace with yourself, then you should. Ask yourself, will finishing this make me happy? If yes, then go for it. If no, then maybe you should let it go. And if you do decide to continue writing your story, then remember that you are the author of your story. No matter how deep into misery it is, you have the power to finish that story in any way you like. Maybe you, deep inside, needed to write about dark and depressing things in order to feel okay yourself. Maybe it just happened without you realizing. No matter which it is, it's never to late to take control over your own story. No one will ever have the right to tell you how your story should end, except for you. Your stories are your thoughts, ideas and feelings put into words, and only you have the power to decide what happens to them.

I know this is a rambling mess, and it probably doesn't make any sense, but my point in this is that you should do what makes you happy. It's your story, your words, your decision. Try not to think so much about what other wants when it comes to the matter of your heart, because that will only end up with you getting hurt.

Whatever you do, I am sure your readers will support your decision, and if they don't, then that's their anger and they will have to deal with that anger themselves. I support you. Do what feels right for you!
Taebooty_Enthusiast
#2
I’ve been actively writing fanfiction for almost two years now. The biggest lesson I’ve learned from my Loves (my readers) is that I shouldn’t write to please them. I should write for myself and do what makes me happy. If what you’re doing now doesn’t make you happy, then maybe stop altogether. Or you could just take a break to gather yourself. Maybe start anew and rewrite the story. Whatever you choose to do, please value your mental and physical health above all. I understand what the weight of a story like yours can carry. The first fanfic I ever wrote dealt with such things. I even encountered the same as you. It was hard. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to delete or rewrite. Both sounded hard, so I decided to understand it. When you’re in the zone, it’s easy to lose yourself in writing. The story takes control and goes wherever it wants to. My goal was to understand where the story went and why. From this I could understand myself and the way my motives shifted from the beginning till then. When I could understand, it was a lot easier to adjust and situate. I could heal my characters while also healing myself, and maybe some of my readers too.

Ever since that incident happened, I always try to keep up to date with my stories, and understand why I’m writing what I am. It helps, especially with the type of dark, angsty stories that I write.

I rambled a lot throughout this, so I’m sorry if things are wonky. But I really hope that you find a solution that works for you~

I wish you luck :D
LilMinMinniexx
#3
As a writer it's completely common and normal to be completely into your story enough to feel the pain. That's what actors do. It's called method acting. You "be" your character and it can drive you crazy, literally. The one that played the Joker was drvien insane. A lot of his parts were off the top of his head. It's just what happens when you get too close to your craft. However. Don't let this discourage you. Keep writing just give yourself little breaks where you do something else you enjoy. Remember, if you're feeling this way your readers are too. Include some comedic relief so that it's not all bad.
DefineImaginary
#4
Taking some time for yourself won't destroy the story or your reader base.
You have to take care of you first. There is no shame in admitting that you just need some time.
jjongshoe
#5
Don’t write it right now
I think you can give yourself a break as well
And then come back with a clear mind and take it to the other direction (if that works)
kairi13
#6
If you feel that way when writing it or when you plan on writing it, I'd say stop.
Writing heavy topics can sometimes serve as a coping mechanism or as a way of projecting but if it's just making you miserable than I'd say don't write it anymore :< as for your other options, maybe not delete it? You can always just put it on draft if you don't know what to do with it right now.
But all in all, if it hurts than you shouldn't have to continue ;; take care love!