Rant mode on

Okay I'm just a bit sad and need to get this off my chest. 

So... basically, I'm still in school and I needed to redo a school year. 

Yesterday was the 18th birthday party of a former classmate and it made me realise something: 

I've never been invited to a birthday party from classmates that aren't really really close friends. I admit that I'm not the most social person but I did talk to them often enough that I considered us closer than practical strangers. 

Not being invited to the party yesterday made me kinda realize that at least for the last 3 years but technically almost all through school I've never been invited anywhere. I just sit at home and watch them through Insta stories and Snapchat and think: don't 200 days for 7 years together in class mean anything? The thing that made me sad the most was that one time a girl had a really big party and invited almost everyone to it. Beforehand when we were talking she told me to my face that she was going through our class lists and thought who to invite and she talked about inviting one kid who was really not social? He basically was only talking to about 4 people almost all the time. In that moment I thought, well, if she's gonna invite him then surely I will be too. Guess what? I was stuck to watching the party to on from my home through Snapchat. It kind of really hurt because I really thought that I meant at least a little little something to them but I guess I was wrong. 

I guess I'm just looking for sympathy sorry for that but I'm just kinda really sad. I spent 7 years of my life with these people. Seems like it only meant something to me 

 

Thank you for reading though this mess and if u want to leave a comment lmao

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Mychapter #1
That hit me after I graduated high school. I didn't have a lot of close friends but I hung out with a small group of classmates a lot. After graduation, none of them tried to contact me or hang out and I realized we weren't as close as I thought. It did hurt and I spent more time at home when I wasn't at work. The plus side of graduating high school, I went from part-time work to full-time and became very close with my co-workers and they became my friends who actually invited me to stuff and cared about me. I worked at a movie theatre so the age rang of my co-workers ranged from 16-25, both younger and older than I was at the time. It's been years since we all worked together but I still meet up with some of those friends at least once a week to just hang out.

I didn't start working until my last year of high school and I only worked weekends and holidays but it's something I'd recommend to anyone who felt the same as me if it's possible.
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