Holding Up and Puking

So I haven't put up any updates on my stories these past several weeks, (gods feels like years though). I can't seem to know what to write. I know I have mentioned things on how to fight off writer's block but I honestly do not have writer's block. 

You know the feeling of you know what should be happening and what you should write but your heart and fingers are not up to it? I am at that point actually. I am at lost of what to do. It's like you have this whole film inaide your head but your body refuse to print them out.

To regain that edgy writing feel, I tried to talk with people but they disappear. The best person I talk with about these stuff died. Heaven couldn't wait for her.

I honestly tried to hype myself since BTS is in LA and they have all this shows and everything but it's all temporary. 

I want to be back.

I can't cry. I can't be upset since I have two younger brothers who needed strength more because they are younger. I hit myself on my pillow trying to know how it feels to write the films I have in my mind. All I can write is this ramble and complains but I can't seem to write the films in my head instead.

It sounds stupid. 

I'm just holding up.

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