I'm almost done unpacking, I should probably finish up then start decorating but holy . It's finally starting to feel like my home. I'm taking pride in the way things look, keeping things clean and all. It's honestly a little surreal still. This past friday, the 17th, I moved into my own apartment. I'm on my own, no boyfriend (still don't want one), no roommates. This entire place is mine. And I worked really hard for it. 

I don't really know how to word this stuff, I guess I should feel more sentamental? I'm 100%, fully, undoubtably independent. I have a great full time job that I LOVE (it's mah dream job :D ). I have my own health insurance, my own life insurance, I've got a retirement account, I pay for my internet, ( cable), my phone, my electricity, my rent (other utlities are included), my groceries, my clothes, my car is paid for in FULL, I pay the insurance, I put gas in it. I've been dying for this moment for a very, very long time. Nobody has power over me. Nobody can tell me what to do. I don't rely on anybody for anything. I guess I'd feel overwhelmed or something. But I'm just whelmed. I think tomorrow, going to work and coming back to my new home will make these feelings set in for me. Waking up the first morning was terrifiying lol. I totally forgot where i was for a brief second. Friday and Saturday felt like I was on vacation or something. It felt incredibly temporary. Now, on Sunday is when I'm writing this, it's starting to set in. And it's such a weird feeling tbh. I'm an adult.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this, here of all places. I could do it on Reddit instead. But what i love about reddit is how anonomous it is. I guess I wanted this to feel a little more personal? Even though I haven't been on here in forever (my last blog post was a year ago). I guess cause back when I was writing all my blog posts (2014-2015 mostly) I was in a really dark place in my life. Sometimes I actually log back in here to reread my blog posts. It's a really, really great reminder to see how far I've come. My last post on here, I was very happy. I was celebrating my aloneiversary. I didn't get to celebrate much this year cause I was busy, so I just bought myself a small gift and a nice sushi dinner. And I'm honestly glad I kept all these blog posts in one spot instead of just posting them on some anon site or something. I used to have a lot of issues with anxiety. Like, a LOT of issues with anxiety. I'm like, 98% out of that . Depression is mostly gone. My anemia is mostly gone. I've got a whole slew of new friends that I absolutely love, and I have ZERO issues with them. We all get along so ing well, I wish I met them forever ago. I don't have any stupid relationship bull to deal with. No stupid jealousy, no controlling POS boyfriend, no abusive tendencies. 

Speaking of which, I'm finally free. I'm so ing free it's unreal. I don't know if i actually posted about all the that my ex did to me. But in short, he tormented me, threatened me, harassed me and my family. It didn't stop until I tried to get a restraining order. I didn't qualify for the permanent one because the judge was a , but as soon as the temp one expired, he tried to contact me again. Just like a month ago, he super-liked me on Tinder. that guy. I don't want to say I regret our relationship, cause I really don't want to regret 2.5 years of my life, and blah blah blah. But holy dating him was the worst mistake of my life. Anyways, the point Sam, get to the point. My ex knew where I lived for the past two years. I never felt 100% safe in my own ing home because he knew where I lived and his crazy could have shown up at any point, like he tried to do twice after I broke up with him. 

But now I have a new job, a new car and a new home. That head can't find me. I feel safe. I also have a nice alarm system. I've spent a while now trying to think of a really good tattoo to symbolize my independence and freedom. I have two tattoos currently. I was planning my third this morning, but I'm going to wait until October/November, or hell, I can make it a christmas gift to myself. It doesn't matter. Ooh man, Sam, you're getting off topic. Anyways, I gotta pee and my walls have been so long I'm starting to get used to it. So I'm gonna finish unpacking and start decorating.

Just a note to future Sam: You've been kicking for the past two years, and i'm really ing proud. Keep at it.