As a writer revisiting past works has always been a source of both embarrassment and frustration. Looking back over a piece you have put so much work into and being confronted by feelings of ‘what the hell was I thinking?’ and ‘how did I think this trash was any good?’. Of course the more time that has passed the stronger those feelings become. Revisiting a piece you finished 2 weeks ago is no where near as soul crushing as going back 2 years later. Sometimes it is enough to make you question yourself as a writer, enough to make thoughts of giving up and moving on more reasonable than continuing to inflict your shortcomings on the world. 

I know I am not alone in this feeling. Everyone experiences it, but that doesn’t make the self doubt or the blow to your confidence any less painful. But despite that most days we find some way past it, if even for a moment. That’s where the strength and support of fandom, friends and readers can help mitigate the problem. If you have them.

It’s when you try to make that comeback after years of inactivity and disengagement with your fandom that revisiting past works can be the most daunting. 

In my previous blog I talked about how I would commit myself to writing something everyday in an effort to shake of years of writer’s block, and to be honest I have been sticking to that. However, what little I have written has equated to little more than attempts to revive past works, works that I still have fondness for but seem to have lost the inspiration for. Stories that I want to continue, but looking back over them I can’t help but see all the problems with them. And over the past day or two I have begun to wonder whether or not it is worth it.

Are these stories worth saving? Even if I some how managed to find that original inspiration, is the end product going to be worth the effort? 

I like to think I write for myself, or at least I did. But when it is such a struggle to even get anything down on paper, is writing for myself enough anymore? 

Or should I just abandon all of my past work and start from scratch all over again, and chase that desire to write down a new path?