My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 6 months now.

I recently had a fight with my boyfriend which just ended in a huge fight and I am not sure what to do at this point anymore.

Since me and my BF are both Korean, we use Kakaktalk as our main source of contact.

My boyfriend went to Korea 3 weeks ago because he has to fulfill his military duties for 2 years. 

Because we are further away now, contact is literally all we have left.

When he wakes up in Korea, it is about 6:30 pm in the U.S and so I can start talking to him from that time on. 

The fight started when he went to sleep he was talking about something on Kakao and he went to sleep. When I woke up, I saw his messages and replied to his messages and then I told him that a perfume that I recently ordered arrived and I was happy and I even sent him a picture. 

When he woke up, he ignored my text about the perfume and continued talking about what he had to say.

Personally, I get mad when people ignore my messages like that and when my BF does it, I get even more upset. I even told him about this before because we had a small fight about this before too.

He did this again so I was just upset and I was just telling him how I was upset cuz he ignored my message and I honestly wasn't going to make it into a big fight, but his response got me really riled up.

He kept on saying "I'm sorry... I just woke up so I didn't see you sent that."

He said that but that didn't make sense to me because he responded perfectly well to the text before the perfume and even the one text I sent after the perfume in which I said: "I'll be back after having dinner."

I was kind of mad because it was impossible for him to have "NOT" seen if he responded to the texts before AND after so I kept on questioning him and kept saying there was no way you couldn't have seen it, especially when I sent a huge picture with the message.

Then he said he saw the message and then he just forgot to respond to it.

At that point, I was just mad and everything he said sounded like an excuse.

I wanted to hear "I'm sorry I didn't respond to your message. I will try to be more careful next time, I'm sorry."

That's what I wanted to hear but he just kept on rambling about how he really didn't see and then he started getting angry at me about how I wouldn't just trust his word when he really did forget and he really was sorry. 

He said "Just because you didn't hear that one word you made the fight this big? CONGRATULATIONS."

But to me when he kept on saying sorry it just felt like he wanted to avoid the fight, like any other guy.

Because he kept on saying sorry and said he just forgot or didn't see, it made me feel like I just had to go along with his style of finishing this matter and my style was receiving a proper explanation and an apology like I stated above.

I said stuff like "Just because you say sorry and you forgot, do I have to follow your way and accept it?"

I was just very mad and I think I asked about the reason like 10 times but he kept on saying he just forgot and/or didn't see, and he didn't know how he was supposed to explain that.

Up to here it just sounds like a typical fight that any couple would have.

He sent me this long text that said:

Let's take some time to think. Honestly, I was really flustered and shocked by this fight. I didn't know you wouldn't trust me when I said the truth and you kept on questioning me. I am not sure how you view me anymore and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to think of you anymore and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do better. There's nothing I'm certain about anymore. I think we are fighting too often these days. We are physically further apart and I think our expectations of each other is just getting bigger. In my POV, my apology was really an apology but I never thought you would think that I was forcing you to accept the apology and I told you truthfully that I forgot it or just didn't see it but I was kind of flustered when you didn't believe me. I know it was my fault for not seeing the Kakaotalk you sent but was this really something we should have fought this much about? I even asked this during the fight. This is why even at the start of our relationship I continuously said everything I say to you is truthful and there is no deeper meaning.. I will text you later.

He sent me that message and I didn't reply.

3 days after that message, he sent me a message saying "What are you doing right now?"

and I was just like "I just woke up" and after a few words, he, asked me "So what do you think?"

And I just.. honestly, I did agree that I did overreact and I didn't want us to be like this so I just told him

"I just feel bad and that I am lacking.."

And he didn't reply.

So I called him because I thought he texted me first to talk about this. But when I called him he was like "why did you call me?" and stuff like this so I was kind of flustered.

He said that...

During our 6 months of us dating, he thought that we had built up trust in our relationship but after this fight, he thinks that there is no trust at all in our relationship and that our time through the past 6 months all feels like it was nothing. 

He said he wasn't sure if I was going to trust whatever he says in the future and he's not certain about anything and that he needs more time to think about this.

He was just like.. When he said he forgot about it, why did you have to question me instead of just trusting me? Did I ignore your messages on a regular basis? You must be like this because I've done this on a regular basis.

And I said yes because he did on some occasions.

He said he just he needs more time to think.

So after that call, he hasn't texted me for 5 days because he needs to "think". 

I had the hardest time waiting for him and each night I couldn't sleep and had to cry myself to sleep and each day felt so long waiting for him to text me and I was just honestly scared he was going to say let's break up.

He is my first... so yeah..

But then as time passed, I still do feel sad but I have gotten a grip and I am kind of starting to feel a bit annoyed how he is making me wait this long period and acting like the victim when there is a fault in the both of us. 

It is our 200 days in 2 days (July 12th) and yeah I know probably only Koreans celebrate this Lel but I'm just kinda devastated and also shocked that this fight came this far.

It's not that I don't trust him; I do trust him but I just feel as that fight we had... there was a reasonable reason for me to question him and just get an answer and a proper apology in my standard, not his.

To me, trusting and understanding are two different things...

In this fight, I didn't understand how he couldn't have seen it or how he could have forgotten it so I wanted a reason for that so I could understand him and not stay angry.

He reads and ignores every kakaotalk I send him so there's no use sending him messages...

I'm just not sure what to do at this point.

I'm just waiting and waiting, but I don't even know when he's going to text me back again.

I honestly don't want to break up; I want to solve this problem and just try to understand each other more. 

I just think it's selfish and not fair on his part how he's making me wait this long and pushing me as the person who doesn't understand and trust him...

If you ask me why I question him so much, there were many events in the past that kind of led me to do it...

One major event was.. during one of the quarters at my University, there was an incident when I sued this one classmate.

This classmate threatened to kill me and rip my mouth apart and said all of these horrible things to me over the phone at like 2 AM, and I got so scared that I reported this to student conduct and I was just so scared to even walk out of my dorm room. I kept all of my doors locked and even then I would be shaking inside my room.

He called me and did that because I talked about him to my mom through text because he kept on hitting me and just making fun of me at school so I didn't like that. And apparently, he opened my phone by using my fingerprint while I was sleeping and read my messages.

I had the hardest 3 months because of this.

At first, I wasn't going to tell my boyfriend but that classmate started contacting my boyfriend when I blocked him on Kakaotalk and refused to pick up all of his messages and calls.

My boyfriend asked me if he could pick up the call and I strongly refused because you know.. if you were me, why would you want ANYONE around you to talk to that crazy classmate? 

But my boyfriend kept on saying that he wanted to talk to that classmate so that he can relieve this issue and just talk it out with him and that I should trust him once.

So I was just super scared but I allowed him and so that classmate told my boyfriend the entire story.

And after that, my boyfriend kept on texting that classmate and my boyfriend showed me the texts screenshot but I felt betrayed when in that message, my boyfriend was apologizing to the classmate about having a hard time with this issue and I felt so angry and betrayed.

My boyfriend said he wanted to end this issue on a cool note so that that guy wouldn't try to do anything to me again.

But this didn't make any sense to me and I felt super betrayed and angry.

But my boyfriend he... when I got angry, he started crying and said: "I'm trying my best but why don't you see my efforts and only get angry..?"

and I had nothing to say and despite feeling angry, I just went over it.

But this issue kind of did make me lose some trust in him, although I didn't say it to him.

Another one was just you know typical girl issue.

He has this close female friend (I have met her too) and she is a nice girl, but I got mad when my boyfriend said they were meeting up just by themselves at 10 PM to do homework together and I got mad because I didn't want him to meet up with another girl that late.

But all he said to me was "What do you think I would do with her?"

And that response just shocked me.

Although after that fight he didn't meet with her personally and did everything over the phone, it still was a blow on my trust towards him.

After this, although I trust him I just get a little more questionny (is that even a word lol) about when he goes to like parties or just those socials with females in general because there is something that he has shown me...

There were these events and circumstances in which he kind of demonstrated to me about trust...

But If I were to talk to him about these issues again and talk about the past, he would just get mad about how I wouldn't trust him and won't really understand my POV, because in his POV he has done everything to his best effort...

I do trust my boyfriend but the reason why I question him sometimes is that with my 99.9% trust for him, that 0.01% of doubt is because of the past actions he has shown me...

But there is no way I can tell this to him and make him understand and I won't even bother, because everyone has a different capacity of understanding and I know that but that's just my defense. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation with my boyfriend.

I don't want to break up; I want this fight to become an incident that will help us grow stronger and become tighter as a couple...

And you know... despite all these... points, I still love him in the end.

He just thinks I don't trust him and that's not the truth...

But nothing I say will go through his head so I'm just lost...

A lot of friends have told me to sit tight and wait for him to think it out, but I think I've waited long enough..

I don't know what to do..

There's no use sending him messages because he will ignore everything I send.

At least if we weren't long distance we could meet up and talk about it but because he's in Korea and I'm in the U.S, we can't even do that..

What should I do in these situations..?