you know, gracie, sometimes i look at you and wonder how i got so damn lucky. i'm sure people are sick of me talking about you, but you know what, they're just gonna have to deal with it.

when i say i love you, i'm not saying it out of habit. it's just to remind you that you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. 

you know, walking into that karaoke room was probably the best decision i've ever made. after asking you out...but that's not the point. i wasn't really one to believe in 'love at first sight' but the fact we wasted months just being 'friends' was a bit ridiculous, but whatever. we got here eventually.

i'm sorry. i'm not the most manly guy around. i get scared by loud sounds, and bugs scare the out of me. i can't even turn on a stove. you deserve a lot better than me. 

i can't offer much to you. i've got my arms to hug you, my lips to kiss you, my fingers to play piano for you, my legs to walk with you. no, you know more than anyone that i'm not perfect. i get stressed, angry, frustrated. i'm stubborn and hard to change. my advice is pretty bad. sometimes i have nothing to say, and all i can do is hold you, and i'm sorry for that. i can't even drive you to work, because i have work to do too. 

i wish i had more. i wish i could chase away all the things that make you sad. i wish i could ward off your triggers, but i can't. i'm pretty useless when it comes to helping you, and i'm sorry. i'm always going to be sorry.

but, even if i can't do things like that, i'm always here for you. to give you the hugs you love so much. 

there are times when i'm so struck by how perfectly amazing you are. you've knocked the wind out of me just by smiling. you're the reason why i love the 18ths so much. 

you know, i have a lot of regret. i shoulda kissed you earlier. should've held your hand earlier. should've waken up with you sooner. should've cried in front of you earlier.

i have a lot of fears. stoves, sounds, etc. but i think one of the things i'm the most scared of is losing you. there are nights where i've stayed up stressing over something i said to you...and yet somehow you're still here. 

and i'm not complaining.

i love you. even though i'm nowhere perfect, i'm so grateful you're in my life.

-choi joohyun