I want to scream.

I want to shout.

I want to hit.

I want to destroy.

So many wants,

Never going to gets.

I want a time and place I can do this,

Without people questioning me.

 

I am always tired.

If I could,

And if they let me,

I will fall asleep in school at break and lunch.

I could and would,

If I had people I could trust,

Around.

 

I don't like people touching me.

I don't trust people enough,

To let them.

They will either tickle me,

Which hurts me,

Or they will hit me.

Noone can tell,

When I don't want to be touched.

 

I can't trust.

No matter who it is,

Or how long I've known them,

It's like I can't trust.

I used to trust so many people,

Now it's like that trait has disappeared completely.

 

The cameras are everywhere.

I don't bring them up,

Because I don't know how.

I need someone to ask about them,

Or I won't be able to speak out,

And get help.

 

I self-harm.

I have no problem admitting it.

I don't cut though.

When we have take-out,

I rip off certain parts of the box,

And scratch.

Only I shka has seen me do it.

She looked so sad,

I stopped for a week.

 

I need to scream.

I need to shout.

I need to hit.

I need to destroy.

So many needs,

Never going to be quenched.

I need a time and place I can do this,

Without people questioning me.

 

I NEED HELP!!!!