What should i do ??

Hi AFF people, i could really use some advice for my life.
I'm 25 y.o. and i don't really have a lot of friend. During high school i had date once to this boy, but what i didn't know that my friend like me that time.
Since that, my friend avoided me like a plague. But sadly that also made other student avoided me as well, since my friend quite known as a good guy.
Apparently, other students talked-ill behind my back and treated me like one of those ungrateful bish because i choose the other boy instead of my friend (fyi my friend didn't confess to me)
(seriously i don't know why they thought me like that when i'm those wallflower at school even my teacher forgot my existence).Β 
But then i broke up with my ex-bf and he dissapeared from his circle friends, and other students blamed me for that. So at the end i lost my friend and other student hate me for no reason.
I didn't know what was my fault and why they hated me so much until one of my friend told me that my ex talked-ill about me and made other student hate me.
And my low self-esteem made it worst.
So, i moved out to other city to attend a college. I didn't had a single friend who came from the same hometown, basically it was a start for a new page for me.
And i being the quite person was and a low self-esteem made a few friends. Since i didn't had many friends to begin with i tried to cherished our friendship.
But you know what, i'm always be the one to left behind. When they had plan to go out they didn't invite me, but it was me that had to initiated a plan that end with they cancelled on the last minute.
I was upset, sad, and always doubt myself. Are they really like to be my friend or just took a pity of me ? i'm always be the one who initiated a chat to ask how their day went or something new happened.
I'm always be the one who reach for them. And when they contacted me first, it was always asking for help.
I help him bought books and send them to another city for him. I help her to studied for final and when she had a study group she never asked me for join them.
I'm always be the one left behind in this friendship.

What should i do ? Right now, we all graduates and start working in different cities. Should i just cut my ties with them ? Or i keep this friendship but i have to limit my contacts with them ??

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
jojojoana
#1
I'm 25 too and sadly (or fortunately?) I didn't keep contact with anyone from my university. I mean, yeah it nice to have " friends" but now I can say its best for you to cut all ties with them.... I agree with @exsuho1004... and if you give it more time, it'll get better :)
exsuho1004
#2
I’m going to be blunt about this, but as a person who is a 27 y.o. I suggest you cut your friendship with them. I cut tied with those who I consider as a friend in high school because they hurt me as well. I don’t stay contact with them anymore because it’s an unhealthy relationship. I was very quiet in high school, but my personality change in college and at work. You can always make new friends in more social setting and just engaging with new people will help you build your self-esteem again. You don’t need to rely on those people from the past. I know that sometime it might be worse, but I believe that we mature through pain. Don’t waste your time looking back at the past and live the life to the fullest and I believe that time for you is now. Just forget about them because you don’t got the time for them.

I hope this help you a bit? And I apologize if the comments didn’t make sense because I’m writing this at almost 3 in the morning lol. If you ever want to talk about it again, feel free to reach out to me. I might not be the best at giving advices, but I will listen to you. Fighting! 😚