To start it off, I hope that whoever will read this message will take it in a light mood. This is a heavy subject and I believe we have all been touched from close or afar by this tragedy. It is not every day that we lose someone as important and impactful as Shinee's bright dinosaur. We learned to love him in a way he would end up never do by himself. 

There was a reason why I stayed silent, despite people wanting to know what was going on on my side. I wasn't a Shawol. I am honest here. I got touched by a few songs here and there, singing along those little dorks that we learned to love but I wasn't rocking their colors. But none of us need to in order to feel the pain we all feel. That's because I believe that, even if you are not a Shawol, if you know and love a kpop group, you have to know who they are, heard one of their songs, know one dance move- that's just how impactful Shinee is. They created a great part of what we know and call 'kpop' nowadays. 

I got the news by a friend, right before going to work. Of course, I wasn't about to go smiling to my job after the news, but it wasn't before the next day that I realized really what was going on. We lost a star because we couldn't prevent something like this. Depression is real and it is consuming. I got the bad idea to go read his suicide note; please only do so if you are strong enough because he really has the words to get you. I suppose that's exactly what got me the most; the words were so well chosen, I even saw myself 6 years ago, in the pitch of the dark, screaming for help. Only someone heard me and he kept screaming. For that, I know I'll forever feel bad. I didn't know him personally, but part of me would have wanted to give him a hand to get out of the dark. 

It is heartbreaking. Of course, as everyone else, I would love to go back in time and save him, but I know what's done is done. He suffered a lot, and honestly, is it too dark to say I believe he finally is at peace? Sometimes the dark is too big and you just need to go towards the ultimate light. Of course, I am not implying that he needed to take that ultimate act, but only him knew how bad it was in his head. They are things even words can't say. Even though he was a proficient songwriter, even though he chose his words wisely in his last letter, I believe there is a lot he brought with him on the other side. Perhaps not to leave too much on our shoulders?  Once caring, always caring after all, right? 

Now, to all the Shawols, I would like to tell you that we, all the other fandoms, are behind you. We don't need to stand them night and day to recognize talent. Jonghyun was a bright person with a dark secret. An angel with his demons. He voiced up the thoughts of an entire generation. He made us laugh, he made us cry, but most of all, he made us happy. I strongly believe we have to hold on to that. After seeing all those reunions and support from all around the world, I can tell you, he would feel awfully proud of you, Shawols. He loved you more than even loved himself, after all. I simply hope, on the other side, he'll learn to love himself as much as we all loved him down here.he

" Jonghyun, I didn't know you, you didn't know me, but we were alike,
I feel your pain and the reasons for your act are honorable in a way
You've had your fight and you became such a warrior in silence,
I wish I could have extended my hand to reach out to you, erase your tear,
Tell you that everything would be alright, that you deserved the world,
That perhaps it was the world that didn't deserve you,

For all it matters, I went there too and our minds is a dark place to be,
To even stand tall and scream your pain in silence is a miracle,
I read your letter, Jonghyun, I understand. 
You don't have to feel sorry, your babies are strong, they'll understand.
Everyone needs a break.
I'll keep voicing up my own thoughts, a bit like you. 
I'll forever keep a thought for you, who rocked my early teenage years, even from afar,
And even if every lyrics you sang and wrote speaks to me as if you were next to me,
Whispering those words,
"So Goodbye, don't cry and smile"
I still feel like I want you to tell us what to do.
This is the end of an era for many of us, but I still want to say thank you.
Thank you for shining so bright, for being you even if it hurt,
You did wonderfully well, angel, if only you knew." 

I don't know for you guys, but I think it's our time to tell him; so goodbye, don't cry and smile. 

He deserved it.