Depression (Help me.)

I was in my vacation when my lil sis said you're dead. I didn't believe her at first, but when I saw it with my own eyes, I almost died because of heart attack.

I'm not a really big fan of SHINee, but is that really matters?

You helped me fight my depression with your songs. Now that you're gone, I found it difficult to breathe. The person I thought was happy was broken and suffering inside, just like me right now.

My family is like, "You're overacting, that is just a Kpop star." I don't wanna hear that anymore. I'm hurt.

Depression is not a choice. Who wants to be depressed anyways? You people keep saying that "We all have problems like that", "I understand you but you're wrong". COULD YOU PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME?! I DIDN'T WANT THIS! I KEEP THINKING POSITIVE BUT WHEN I DO, NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ALSO STARTS POPPING OUT OF MY MIND. YOU ALL BLAME MY PERSONALITY, WHY?! CAN'T I BE ME?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DID I DO WRONG! YOU KNOW THAT FEELING WHEN IT'S REALLY REALLY OBVIOUS BUT NO ONE CARES? LIKE WHAT THE HECK. THERE'S NO ONE COMFORTING ME WHEN I NEED COMFORT. WHEN I'M CRYING, YOU ALL JUST STARE. WHY?! I'M NOT REALLY GOOD AT PRETENDING AND HIDING MY TRUE FEELINGS... I'm getting tired. Should I just follow Jjong? After I red his suicide note... I just..

Someone help me please. Suicidal thoughts are slowly swallowing my entire life.

"Without you I'm not happy, but I hope you're happy."

#RestInPeaceKimJongHyun

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cloadysky #1 Dec 23, 2017 01:57:05

I agree with galkasnoopy. But to add in, if you don't physically go get professional help you can always call in a hotline number. I'm unsure where you're from but here is a list of numbers you can call
http://togetherweare-strong.tumblr.com/helpline
If you're more comfortable texting there is a Crisis Text Line, text in the number 741741, if your feeling really depress. I hope this does help you and just know there are people that understand and are ready to help you.

TakuyaKen #2 Dec 22, 2017 23:53:10

I am like that too but i still cant kill myself

galkasnoopy #3 Dec 22, 2017 17:39:15

Most people would not understand the pains of depression but that doesn't mean that they don't care. Most of us just do not know how to react in such situations. I do however know how devastating it can be for the living to lost a love one to suicide. So please, do seek professionals' help, bring along your family or friends so that they can better understand what you are going through. I sincerely hope for your speedy recovery.