I have to let this out :(

I know we are all in great pain ;; and we will be for a long time. For me.. it still feels unreal ;; I tell myself times and times again that it's true but my heart doesn't want to accept it. I'm tearing up all the day, crying in pain but still.. can't grasp it :( and the worst is..that I know he deserves the peace and happiness he wanted. I know he wouldn't want us to suffer like this. He would want to be remembered with smile on our faces but I can't help it. I know he's in the better place and he would want me to smile and think of him fondly but right now.. I can't look at pictures of the boys, I can't listen to their voices, I can't read or write ffs because it hurts so much. I have gotten sick many times ever since and my mom is worried about me. I, myself, am. I'm trying to go on without crying. Trying to sleep and eat but it's hard right now ;; I know it might be stupid to some people but Jonghyun meant so much to me :( I don't care he didn't know me or that I have never seen him in a person. He still meant a world to me :( it will take a long time for me to be okay but I want to get well soon because Jjong wouldn't want this ;; he didn't intend for us to be sad ;; I just needed to let this out because I felt like choking on my thoughts ;;

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jongkeyfan21 #1 Feb 17, 2018 17:46:43

We will all miss Jonghyun forever he was amazing and we will Never forget his beautiful face and that enchanting voice YOU DID WELL JONGHYUN . forever in our hearts, Shinee will always be 5 and they are always admired in my heart." fighting "

DingKey #2 Dec 21, 2017 16:28:54

we are all in the same situation...
I want to be happy with the thought of him being in a better place but... it's so painful...

SHIN33ee #3 Dec 20, 2017 19:43:09

same. so much the same. You're not alone in this.

satbranch #4 Dec 20, 2017 19:16:38

I know I don't know his just his name I don't even listen to shinee but his dyeing is so tragedy. . He always seemed smiling but he has this tragic illness that will eat your brain alive hopefully now his resting in peace ..as he said he couldn't take it any more . So now the only thing we should pray for him..

goldxntrbl #5 Dec 20, 2017 10:39:59

darling it is not stupid! its not stupid that you are in pain, its not stupid that you are crying for him. you love him sincerely so it is okay to mourn as much as you want. but please, im begging you to take care of your health. your health is important, eat as much as you can even if its small bites here and there. remember to drink water as crying makes you hydrated. pour yourself a warm cup of tea and sleep as many hours as you can. jonghyun loves you, he loves all of us so much and i can tell it would break his heart knowing you are not taking care of yourself so please.

AlexRoze #6 Dec 20, 2017 08:19:58

Same ...

Amy2000 #7 Dec 20, 2017 08:19:14

I don't really know how big is the pain that you are suffering because I'm not his fan, but this whole thing is really affecting me too as someone who is struggling with some mental disorders, when I look at what happened to him it gives me a feeling that that is going to be my future and it really breaks me apart because it already hurts a lot, but I still have strength to overcome things, but him... I get scared everytime I try to think how much pain he must have felt, and honestly, I just can't even imagine it. What happened to him is probably my biggest fear, and I keep thinking about him going through it alone, in a cold and dark place, in an industry which doesn't give a to idols mental stability, going to a doctor who says that it isn't serious (mental illnesses still being a huge taboo worldwide, especially in korea), and suffering everyday reading those hateful comments, it really, really breaks my heart. And I can't sleep too... I think yesterday I only slept one hour and it's already 5AM today, probably no sleep today again. If I'm already like this, I can't even imagine what you're going through as a fan, who overcome many of your problems with his help and shared so many good moments with him, even just by the internet or the TV...

But we will overcome this together someday, everyone, Jonghyun would never like to see us suffering like this, we need to be strong to help our other Shawol/Blinger friends and support Minho, Key, Tae and Onew. It has been 6/7 years since I left Shinee Fandom but I still know that he always tried to help everyone, like defend lgbt rights, and he never judged anyone by their character, like still being friend with Han Seo Hee after everything she did. We should now try be more human like him and pray for his peace and happiness, he did a great job and left an important legacy. He's a awesome and talented artist.