As I'm sure most of you know, we've recently lost a talented young man to depression. Kim Jonghyun committed suicide on December 18th this year. As we mourn, I'd like to hope that we see the effects of fame on an young adult. I'd like to remind everyone that the idols we love are around the same age as most of us. They do so much for us, their fans, that we never saw this coming. I never thought an idol would commit suicide...but that's how good they are at being happy for us. 

It's a hard time for all of us, and as the holidays draw near, I urge everyone to appreciate your family and friends. Sometimes you can't tell what they're going through behind their smiles. I hope that Jonghyun is able to watch over us, and that he sees that he is missed. I don't affiliate myself with any religion, and I have no idea what happens once we leave this life. All we can do is hope that he's somewhere that treats him well, and hope that he feels loved. 

As someone who has a family history of depression, and who is afflicted with it personally, I urge everyone to cherish the good times we're gifted with. Due to depression, I never met my grandmother, as she committed suicide while my mother was still young. When my sister was taken to the hospital after a suicide attempt, I was young and terrified. When I grew older, I began having strange thoughts...thoughts that I won't go into detail about. A few attempts on my life later, and a month in and out of hospitals, I feel better. I take medication to keep me calm, and I've learned that there are people who do love me. I've learned that there are reasons to live, as few and far between as they may seem. 

Please. In these trying times of ours, I know how difficult it is. I beg of every last one of you, that you speak up if you're scared of what you're feeling, if you have thoughts of suicide, or if you feel unwanted and unimportant. I write this with a heavy heart, knowing that, statistically, someone who reads this may be struggling with anxiety or depression. I understand that to most, I have no face, and I'm a complete stranger. I understand that to most who are struggling, you feel alone, and you feel hopeless. I will beg you to talk to someone if you need support. Even me. I may be a stranger, I may be hundreds or thousands of miles away from you, we may never see each others' faces. If I could be of help to anyone struggling, don't worry about being a burden.

As we mourn Kim Jonghyun's death, please don't neglect yourself. If you're feeling hopeless or alone, talk to someone about it. Find someone who you can trust. Depression is powerful...it can drive those as loved as a K-Pop idol to feel hopeless enough to end his own life. It's dangerous. Be careful over the holidays. Be sure to wear your scarves and mittens and hats and coats and keep warm this winter. Warm up with a bubble bath or some tea, coffee, or hot chocolate. Make it a point to make the holidays a season where you care for those around you. Make it a warm and fuzzy winter this year, and set aside some treats for Bling Bling Jonghyun. It must be tiring watching over millions of fans, and watching them mourn.