[NOW] Late 6th Anniversary Post

3rd September 2017 was supposed to be the mark of the 6th anniversary but.... 
I missed writing about it because I was busy with my family and on the 4th something not pleasant and unexpected happened to my family so when I realized about missing the 6th anniversary, it was almost October and Highlight was announcing their comeback with Can Be Better.
Although at that time, I can barely make my time listen to Gikwang and VIXX LR new album. 
So I didn’t even focus on their promo ><  
Anyway! Things are getting a whole lot better now so don’t worry. 
Since it’s December, I am wrapping up whatever resolution etc so I just think of writing a blog about the 6th year as AFF member. 
6 years. 
From a high school student to a university graduate.
That is quite a journey huh. 
I wrote so many stories over the years and honestly, a huge improvement can be seen if you compare the 1st and the last fanfic I wrote. 
I am proud but I think there is still a HUGE room for improvement so I will keep improving. 
In terms of both story plot and grammar wise. 
I hope people would connect themselves through the story I wrote and I hope whatever I wrote could make someone day happier or inspire other people to do whatever they wanted to do.
Though I know that is somewhat hard because get real who am I anyway hahahah 

Internet author, fanfic author...
Stories are established by his/her own will which also means the ending was never decided.
Many can happen in between the duration of making the story.
Of course...
The plot, characters etc were already sketched/drafted, but to put it into action and completing it,
It's a commitment. 
Some stories are left uncompleted for some reason.
It might be personal, it might be writer block, it could be lack of drive/motivation, idk… 
It differs depends on the author since an online author is so different than established authors.
Because... Established author only able to show their writings to the world after the book is published, which means a book is finished. 
While online author updated each chapter for each story that she/he wrote. 
Anyway, back to the main points, for me I try my best to complete every story that I've posted no matter how long it takes. 
Like there is an unwritten promise between me and my stories. 
A promise to give it a proper ending. 
So rest assure whoever subscribe to my story.
There will be an ending for every story I posted.
It just takes time. Believe me. 
Unless I am in totally desperate/hard times then I can’t promise you much. 
And here to the authors that I keep on subscribing and being a silent reader to (If you guys read it), Thank you for writing the wonderful stories. Thank you for finishing the story. You guys deserve a huge round of applause. 

Very often, I found myself wanted to give my stories ending that not many people wanted aka the sad endings.
Although some stories I do agree they need happy endings.
First few years of writing, comments make a big impact on my plot but as I was pursuing my degree, I realized, what I wanted for the story is more important.
Want to know some facts about the stories I made?
Let’s start with Can’t Help Falling In Love With You… 
The ending was Minyoung should end up with someone who is not even an idol, let alone Dongwoon or Yoseob.
But I got hyped up with the comments so I end up making ending for both of them. 
Not that I entirely hate with the new ending haha 
Love Contract supposed to end with YooJin move to Japan and never come back but I feel like I would disappoint a lot of people if I didn’t make Doojoon find her. 
I even consult a friend, a Beauty (At that time now a retired fan before becoming a Light) and she agreed on the 2nd ending (Which is the posted ending) and told me to not kill the mood when I already built it over the chapters lol 
Those that loved the posted ending please thank her hahaha 
Haunted weren’t supposed to have a sequel but it did and I did decide to end it with happy note if I ever wanted to make a sequel so please rest assure it is the ending that I want it to be lol 
I don’t know what take over me, I guess I was scared of someone I care died to the point I scared I lost myself, that how I came out with Painkiller.
Though it doesn’t go the way I really want it to that is the story I think a lot whether to post it or not.
I was supposed to make it an illusion between the reality and the dream lol 
Some of my one shot doesn't end happily too.
I just for me, even though I’m a writer and a reader, sometimes I wish for a happy ending but if you gave me choice, I choose sad endings.
For me, that is how reality is.
I don’t believe in the happy endings, to be honest (of course this is subjective so it depends on people).
I don’t wish my real life to be so dark and end up with a sad ending, just a normal one would do (what am I rambling?? anyway!!) 
I realized, even I am a hopeless romantic, ending like Romeo and Juliet is my favorite.
It makes me sounded like I’m a downer, isn’t it?
So lets concluded it like this… I am a 70% sad ending believer but still a 30% happy ending believer.
I still believe that there is happy ending somewhere in this world. 
And me as a person I am a Happy-go-lucky kind of person.
Ugh, this post becomes very depressed out of sudden. Sorry! >< 
Perhaps, people around me keep wanted me to stay perfect and when I realized I have a lot of flaws like a whole lot more than anyone can imagine, I just self-destruct. 
That why anxiety came I guess… I just build over the years.
And it still does actually. 
Now I am coping it well and tell myself it’s okay to be flawed. 
I am supposed to be one and not how everyone expects me to be.  
So I've decided, I will end the story, make the story, plan the story of how I want it to. 
No matter sad or bad ending.
So that I produce a better quality of the story and stick to the relativity and the reality of the story. 

Back to the 6th year anniversary post.
I am thankful I discovered my idols and writing because fanfic and writing have become a way for me to express myself.
I also thankful that you guys (whoever you guys were) for reading, subscribing and commenting my story. 
I am very thankful for everyone who has been with me since day 1 of this story.
I am very thankful for all the comments, all the silent reader and everyone who PM me in hoping I would finish any story that I make. 
I also thankful for my loyal readers who have been subscribing since my 1st story.
For supporting me all this time, for being the motivation of continuing being a fanfic writer.
I hope you can find me keep growing through the stories I wrote, keep supporting me and my dream (Yes one of my dream includes writing).
Though this post is like half depressed I hope you guys would know this post comes from the bottom of my heart and I meant every word I said. 

One more thing I want to remind everyone, whether you're happy or sad. 
I hope you will hold on and protect to that one thing, that exact one thing, that makes you happy in your life. 
Keep that one thing and keep the passion moving.
Because in the end, the one who gonna make you happy and decide if you’re happy is yourself.
Don’t let anyone crush or say anything about that precious thing that you kept.
You decide your life not them. 
For me, it’s music and writing.
Since I don’t care people said writing fanfic is a waste of time, I got a whole lot happier and more productive. 
Since I start don't care what people gonna think of me, I have been laughing and smiling a whole lot more and sincerely now. 
So no! Don’t let that negativity gets you. 
Fight it.
Win it.
I know you can. 
I’ll be cheering for you. 
Fighting! 

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