hi everyone~

this is the awaited blog post about to jongin: prologue

there are a few things that crossed my mind when i wrote the story

1. wow i am such a negative person,

i only remembered and wrote about the negative parts of our relationship

but then again our brain is designed to remember the negative and traumatic memories more than happy ones because it's part of our fight or flight response to help protect us

and also i thought it over many times

our happiness didn't last long- very cliche but happy really does not last forever

even on days where we were happy, it always ended on a bad note

2. i am like a really resentful person

true and false, true as in i really resent myself (gonna be explained later down below)

false as in i do not hate my ex

i wish him the best because he was my precious little friend for so long

i just wish things turned out differently

3. was i the only one who was hurting?

yes and no

yes because i felt like a precious friend had died

no because i did not love him

i liked him

but i didn't like him enough to date him

honestly, i do not know why i dated him or why we dated in the first place haha

4. wow, i finally cried

after a long time since we've broken up

i finally cried

i've cried before but not because we broke up

i cried because i was afraid of having a baby with him

after we broke up things got really rough,

i got referred from my dream college

i overworked myself

i also fell down the stairs really badly haha

and i think i had a miscarriage

5. we actually ended on a good note

originally we broke up on a good enough note

it was fine until i think i had a miscarriage

and when i told him.. he seem like he did not care whatsoever

and we argued about that which led to us being on bad terms

i think he thinks that i hate him? i don't haha

6. currently

currently, i am attending university as a pre-med student

and he is serving his times at the air force right now

currently, i low key have ptsd from the relationshi

and he is dating someone that he really likes

7. trilogy?

yes i am working on a trilogy

it's going to be about the reflection era

how i dealt with everything and how i am currently doing right now

also what happened between that time span

thank you so much for reading my story and this long blog post

i hope everyong enjoyed it and have a lovely day~