So I just woke up and got greeted with the news that Hoya won't be renewing his contract with Woolim. That INFINITE will go on as a 6 member group instead of 7. And, I simply started crying (still am a bit). I don't know why, a part of me knew that Hoya won't be renewing, a part of me was so sure of that fact but still hoped otherwise and in the end he didn't. He didn't. And although I had a feeling he won't it still hurts nonetheless. It still hurts. So bad. 

Here, let me tell you how I got to know INFINITE, I was watching a drama called Shut Up Flower Boy Band and completely fell in love with one of the guitarists' who turned out to be INFINITE's L. Being my curious self I started to search about INFINITE and learned that it was a 7 member boygroup. And as I watched their variety shows, You're my Oppa being the very first one, I started to fall for each and every one of them. Woohyun's cheesiness was albeit over the top but always heartwarming, it's because of him that I got used to sending flying hearts to my friends - correction, namu hearts - and though they looked at me weirdly at first they soon got the hang of it. Songjong's sassiness is everything. Really. The way he bullies Grandpa Gyu with the rest of the members is simply the most precious thing ever (PS : he still gets doted on by the Gyu leader himself). And he can flawlessly dance the choreography of any girl-group song, really, he's even better than the girl-groups themselves. Sungyeol is such a troublemaker, who can forget his infamous «bananas injected with vinegar prank»? Who? No one, that's who. He's so funny without even trying. Dongwoo is simply an angel. He's the kindest person i've ever met, well I haven't met him per say but you guys get what i'm saying. He's also so dorky and funny, my god. And his laugh, oh my, his laugh is so contagious, it's so precious, this baby needs to be protected at all costs. Sunggyu is sarcastic, easily angered hehe (he holds a mean grudge) and simply adorable. He gets grumpy a lot especially when s bully him but he's the pillar that holds INFINITE together. He looks after the members and guides them. He's simply the best leader ever. And, remember that episode in Showtime, where they wanted to change leaders? I was like NOO My baby Gyu is the best leader ever no one and I mean no one can take his place!! In the end he got his position back, THANK GOD. Myungsoo was, believe it or not, my very first love, hahahaha. He also made me experience my very first heartbreak, hehe. Putting that aside, he's a total dork (I love how he's being more himself nowadays and that his L cosplay isn't as apparent as before) and totally loveable.

Hoya...

Hoya is INFINITE's dancing machine, who would rather die than do aegyo, who tells cringe-worthy jokes and likes to get on Sunggyu's nerves (and it works every single time!). 

All seven of them make up INFINITE. All seven of them with no exception.

Now, onto some darker matters...I'm going to tell you guys something related to my past. I was bullied when I was in school. I was called names and shunned and all that jazz. It got to the point where I wanted to just end my life and I tried to several times. I did. I'm not proud of that but I had hit rock bottom and I got simply tired of trying and wanted nothing more than to give up (I'm all better now guys so no need to worry!) But INFINITE helped me get through this rough patch. They made me laugh when all I really wanted to was to cry. They gave me hope. They made me happy. They gave me the strength to carry on. So, to me INFINITE is not just a boygroup. It's not. Not at all. INFINITE is a huge part of me. Without it, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't. Or maybe I would. But I wouldn't be the same.

But now, INFINITE is no longer the INFINITE I know. It is no longer a 7 member group but a 6 member group. A loved member chose to not renew his contract. He chose to go his seperate way. He chose to pursue other things. 

Hoya left and although I saw it coming it still hurts. It still hurts. A lot.

I, naively thought that INFINITE would remain as it was (as it is). A 7 member group with Sunggyu, Woohyun, Dongwoo, Myungsoo, Sungyeol, Sungjong and Hoya as its members. But it didn't. It's not. Not anymore. 

And although bidding farewell to our very own dancing machine hurts. I still wish him the best. All the best. I will always support him. He may not be physically in INFINITE anymore but he'll always be a part of the group. He'll always be our dear dancing machine. He'll always be INFINITE's Hoya. He'll always be the man we got to know and to love. 

Saying goodbye hurts. It . But there's nothing we can do about it. We can only send him away with a loving smile and hope for the best. 

I, as an Inspirit have vowed to stand by INFINITE's side through thick and thin, to always support them no matter what. And I will. I will. Be it a 6 or 7 member group INFINITE is INFINITE and I promise to stay.

I promise to stay.

And I hope you guys will as well.