today...more crazy thing happened...and also...i'm suddenly curious of how and why this agency n their idol so generous and gracious with showing appreciation to love and support they receive...and often make the fans feel appreciated with all the small gestures that could mean the world to fans. i mean they did a lot of things that went out of the way, that even in my lifetime of stanning many nugus....didn't think it reached such extent.

backtrack to when i first heard of them.

(when i first watch a bit of the song in a chart...all i remember was the dices...lol...can't blame me, they're so memorable lmao-but the song didn't sound like the generic 'we so badass swag' like most groups songs so it was memorable too though didn't make me interested to check it out.... and when i eventually did check it out some months later it's kinda annoying seeing all the comments who just want to flood the comments with spazz on strictly ayno...it made me dislike him at first...bcuz of the annoying fans that keep hyping him up making other members seem unappreciated bcuz of his hype from his survival show of some more hyped group/agency prior to join this group after not making the cut in that show or sth...but of course i can't keep being stupid to dislike him bcuz of his fans when he's as likable as the rest of the members...and they're overall just so funny...)

other than from kville chart where i honestly know their existence for the first time...it was also at a kpop translation site...where there's an article about kpop idols' coordis/stylists...and i noticed a comment praising a group that shall not be mentioned while saying a lot of groups copied them n outing a few names...unsurprisingly they only dared to post up the nugus names including this group...when i've seen big names also wearing exact style they mentioned that their oppar so called invented huh....n it's impossible they didn't notice those big name idols. probly scared of being swallowed alive....i have no respect for such cowardly attitude that only have the guts to attack small ones tbh...

and then...when they released another song and i heard a bit from the same chart...i liked what i heard so much that i went to try the whole song n bam...i fell in love with the song...but i wasn't decided on the group yet...

until they released another song n i found myself rushing to check it out...hoping to like it since i love the previous song i heard...then i've decided...the group would be my stalk n spazz material for awhile...but i didn't expect it to go deeper...

 i started watching their random vids and reading comments...and what surprise me n made me curious was how humble the comments were from their own fans and how there's hardly bragging...people keep saying they like this group cuz they always show improvement...n i find that really humble when kpop fandoms are all bout bragging this n that n being humble and not annoying is just rare, so there had to be reason when such pleasant sight is seen...it's not normal...i also saw some comments that pique my curiosity like the ones saying how it's such a blessing that they changed producer that made their music n vocal projection improved by so much...and some mentions about how they were the group criticized for their vocals n so on...

from the ideas i got...i guess indeed there was a big reason behind the humbleness...and i was already scared to check out their old stuffs before they changed producer...mainly bcuz i was scared to see the bashing, would i be able to handle it? i don't have the energy to fight but i don't usually just sit around watch my loves being bashed...but it's probly an era they've left behind n probly no intention to revisit...so many fear that held me back...and today, i sort of finally gathered the courage to do that. since i've come to cherish them this much and want to do so even more, i need to embrace their dark age along with their blooming prime...

(i find it really hypocritical of kpop fans that when their opparunnirs act badly in dramas...they said opparunnir still new n will improve...but then go on saying things like these kids aren't fit for debut n should only debut when they're perfect...and let's not pretend all the top idols we have now are superb amazing singers. i won't say names but surely you already have some ideas unless you're that in denial. and i think if you watch this...you'd know which fandom was attacking them...lol. eh...your oppar didn't invent vampire concept...in fact, Romeo-Korean solo singer who promote in Japan...executed the concept better n did it before your oppar n is more consistent with the concept...bleh, and if you want to complaint about their webtoon...eh...battle had this webtoon thingy 10 years ago n the fans didn't make a big deal abt any other idol doing that at all...ugh...your oppar's not thaaaat original...deal with it. and i chose to share the one from their official channel instead of channels like cjenn/1thek-don't remember which one...so that i wouldn't have to see much hate here...but i'm surprised there's still a lot...oh well...is it weird that i kinda like the song? like it's not as bad as i thought other than poor vocal direction/projection? n...how come baron look so perfect...like how come his visuals shine so much in each n every mv...like how? though i'm suspecting back then their visual/center was gyeoul and now ayno...though it's impossible to have a visual in a group made of all visuals..)

i'd say the main problem with their old stuffs is...the vocals came out like when your not so perfect oppars sing in live perf...instead of a recorded ver. but i guess...they do have improved a lot...and that's something old fans who were there by their side from the start would have the privilege to feel proud of...there were so damn lot of ugly bashing and harsh comments on their vids...wow...i've...never seen that much harshness...or maybe didn't remember the last time i met one...though i feel that people are more generous with nastiness when it comes to nugus without hypes or connection.

(although i kinda dislike this song with a passion..i'll just share it anyway..i just fear if i end up liking it through some sort of brainwash method of keep listening to sth you didn't like...eek)

if only i had known them back then(well, not that long...just 2015 pft)...i would've stood up for them against these nasty bashers...even if i haven't become their fan...n it could pave the way for me to become a fan actually...i think...i have the tendency to grow love from sympathy when it comes to idols...i tend to look more fondly towards underdogs...like when JQT debut same time with Secret and everyone rooted for Secret...that's how my interest in JQT bloomed haha...n i've no regrets...though they tragically disappeared after a few badass awesome comebacks n those American advancement -_-, the girls made me so proud with their superb live skills and uniqueness n everything...and also...like when i defended Kwanghee at the time i hardly know/care him or his group...but seeing 100% comments at a site bashing him like crazy just for plastic surgery...and not a single soul defended him...i thought it's absurd that none of his or his group fans came...it's really unfortunate...bcuz the article made to top article with just a hundred percent hate comments...like...unfathomable...how shietty humans can be...so i stepped in to give a piece of my mind...and eversince then...ZE:A kinda went into my radar...though it wasn't until i saw a radio show excerpt with them that i had enough interest n curiosity to be a fan...

(the lyrics are kinda cringe ...you crazy we crazy whaaat....xDD...but hey...i guess it entertained me in a way)

sympathy isn't necessarily a bad place to start. i'd say that. it had led me to a lot of great groups, none i have regrets of meeting and stanning, watching them grow and rise or just strongly tread forward despite the lack of rise with much pride.

i'm not ashamed of liking nugus...in fact...i think nugu groups' fans tend to be more loyal in the long run...remember bap and how they used to be so popular...even in AFF...it's like at one time...all fics are exo n bap followed by bts...but look at the tragic fall of their popularity once they had problems n went on hiatus n so on....that's what happen when fans were just in it for the hype n trend(of course i'm not talking bout all fans, but those who were just there for the hype, let's not pretend there weren't a lot of fans who dropped them...)...but me...10 years loving my nugu battle oppar who were nugu from the start...never being popular despite actually winning battle shinhwa...still proud to flaunt them as my ultimate fav group, the awesomest ;) when you've loved them at their lowest n it can't go lower...that's not the kind of love that's easy to be dropped. i can't say for everyone...but for me, yeah.

(tbh baron n ace sound so dreamy here...snifle...send helppp...)

back to the group i'm talking bout now, they have all the signs that says i should adopt them as a group to be dedicated to already...lol). as ZE:A have kinda ended, i feel like this group can take over to take all my money -_-, i don't think Pureboy has any hopes to be revived...from their unfortunate state, i'm just waiting what girlgroup will take Rainbow's spot(cuz...let's face it...as much as i still love and adore them n their superawesome bond...the group has disbanded pretty much...they ain't be releasing anything new together for the time being at least...maybe far into the future they will...i'd not be surprised when that happens...of all the groups boys and girls alike i've ever loved...i think Rainbow has the highest likelihood to get back together to release an album/song together)

(the song is uhh idk...but the video is wow...i love how they captured n documented all events n moments...this would be really meaningful to everyone who love them, be it themselves, their staffs, family, fans especially for those who miss the former members...it's just so...nice...and did i see penang mentioned? that's just 3-4 hours bus ride from my city...T^T n tbh, the only state i've been to multiple times...i didn't know they had come to my country until i was watching some livechat or sth video...and st.van mentioned my country i think after reading some comment from my fellow countrymate fan)

I feel maybe bcuz they have received so much bashing n nastiness all around...the group as well as their agency are humbled and appreciate the love and support they're getting so much to give back in so many ways...actually, i wonder if the members feel really happy now to receive love and support instead of 80% hate comments or if they feel bitter...or sth...i'm just...curious...

either way...i'm so proud of them for never giving up despite all the nasty shiets they received...and persevered and keep working on improving themselves and tadaaa...

the dark days are now behind them...am i allowed to be proud of them as a noob fan who didn't even know their existence at the time they were mercilessly keep being stabbed and could use more love n support? ///..though annoying other fandoms who'd come at them to say they copy this n that oppar still exist...well...now that i'm here, and now that they have more fans...these people won't get away that easily for shiet talking...

oh btw...other than the intro...this song is not the same at all as the song you're thinking of...listen to the whole song...i can confirm it's not the same...bcuz i tried the other song that this song so called copy...expecting to like the song bcuz i love this song...but that song is just...too forgettable n boring i couldn't finish it...i was so surprised...bcuz usually when people relate two songs...they give me similar feeling...like when someone commented on a Daybreak song's vid i loved...mentioning another singer's song that have similar vibe, and i ended up loving both songs...but this one...eh....no. these rude fandoms who know nothing than to come attacking others without knowing that their oppars songs/style might have been copied from elsewhere they don't know/won't acknowledge but so determined to accuse others copying oppars...bcuz music are so unique and no two songs in this world sound similar at all...especially in Korea where it's all about trends...wow...these fans are intelligent....

 

Anyway...remember when i talked about my uhh...overwhelming luck the other day....guess what...as if the situation or rather luck didn't overwhelmed me enough...after having to make such difficult decision...and then had some problems that cause the whole original plan fall out...it got upgraded from some public live session where there'd be audience to make me uncomfortable of lost privacy...to a...private skype session...no broadcast, no audience omg n not to mention my possibly fav member would be part of it even though i think i'm in denial that i have no fav member cuz that's the best way to stan a group.......no...i haven't given my answer but this is just...too much for me to handle...i don't even skype...T^T...help meehhh...i don't think i'm strong enough for this...as you can see, i'm a very insecure person...i can kind of overcome it when i meet people face to face, everytime i confessed how nervous i feel it made me feel a lil better, and...people always say they're surprised bcuz i don't look nervous and somehow made it to my advantage(i think my secret to that is my honesty and how i bluntly say the things people around me usually don't cuz it could ruin image/chances of making impression...says standard textbook guides that i seem to not follow)...but through some video shiets...idk bout that...and i'm someone who avoids confrontation most time...especially when it involves things/people i hate or love. lol. i need to give my answer soon...but things are not looking good...idk why they(the agency,staffs and them) are so so extra kind...and try so hard for each and every fan even though they really don't have to go to this extent, since they've done more than enough to appreciate fans...i mean...do i even deserve this? i feel so conflicted right now...tbh i'd rather go there to see them in person if there's an invitation for it...rather than thru the screen...idk if i told this before...i have a lot of anxiety...i'm even scared of answering phonecalls...or making calls, n this is like vidcall...ughhh worseeee!!!...but oddly...i could manage just fine when i really set my mind on it(phonecall, not video)...like when i worked in job that required me to literally do nothing else but handle phonecalls, make phonecalls, and solve issues of all sorts of people behind the calls...who'd have guessed someone who's scared of phonecalls n would practice for even hours to make one phonecall, could handle that kinda job just fine, right? but conquering your fear isn't as simple as it seem...something that look as simple could come from having to be beaten up by life so much that you just need an escape to keep living and the only door is that thing that makes your heartbeat go fast for all the wrong reasons...tbh...there are so many more fears i doubt i'd be able to conquer...who knows bout the distant future, but for now, and maybe tomorrow...i don't see myself overcoming any of them.

maybe life hasn't beaten me up as much as i thought...maybe i'm just used to be beaten up...maybe i'm underestimating my own ability to overcome more of them...maybe i'm overestimating the obstacles and the things i fear....maybe i'm too comfortable by it already...who knows the real truth but God...

 

Anyway...shared a lil too much personal stuffs yikes....tsktsktsk...i shall go ponder on my decision...my gut feeling tells me that i'm gonna back off from this cuz it's too scary...lol.

But i hope you learnt something abt them and give a try to some of their songs...and if you have nothing good to say, do me a favour - be a decent human being and say nothing. i didn't mention anywhere that they're super perfectly n unrivaled talented n yadayada...n neither did many of their fans...but we're happy with what we're seeing and they're good enough for me tbh, and if you don't like...cool...go watch your oppars n unnirs.

seeya~