So yesterday when I wrote about the waffles I told I will tell more detailed what's actually wrong with me but I was just too tired after making the waffles that i just couldn't. Besides, today is actually my BEST FRIEND'S birthday so I figured out I shouldn't post negative posts on the person I held the closes' birthday. So I will tell you guys when both her birthday and my birthday is over so it wouldn't worry me and bothering me, since she and I are going to town to celebrate our birthdays together tomorrow.

But let me tell you the story of how we met. 

It started when we was 2 years old and both started in kindergarten, it didn't take long before we got closer and closer. In the end she became my best friend. Ever since I was I kid I had been a happy, cheerful and positive girl which made me have more children than her to play with, but I had this "basic friends" I hung out with normally and kept myself to since I felt so safe. 

Even if it was like this, I had the closes combination with her. I am not going to say her real name but let's call her Ann. 

Our mothers also became best friends/close, close friends and invited us over to play with each other often outside the kindergarten. 

Sadly, she lived what was way too far away from me and we couldn't go to each other's house like I could with another friend. 

When I was a kid, I was very clumsy, and got hurt quite often and ofcause cried very often. Ann would never leave me when I fell and started to cry, she would actually start crying too! 

When we got older, we had to seperate paths. Her house and mine was too far away from each other to enroll the same school. We lost contact because how can two kids hold contact at the age of 6 when we didn't have a phone or anything?

I was sad, I didn't realize what fully happen In till I suddenly came clear that she had forgot me and it turned out to be my worse nightmare but how can I know if she remembers me or not? I came to surprise visit her once... but she had another friend at her place and I had to go home. She still remembered me but for how long would that last? 

My time there in the new school wasn't as great as I would imagine. Yes I made like 5 new friends, nobody hated me (as I could see), and I had someone to be with. I even had a boyfriend (it didn't last long...) 

My 5 new friends was really kind but I was just a 3rd wheel. They never waited for me besides if I asked them for so. Isn't it obviously that they should wait, and not walk away when I am struggling to put on my shoes? 

I also played handball, yeah, I have played handball for 9 years actually! 

It wasn't as you thought, I didn't enjoy it and wanted mostly to just sit and cheer on them. In that time I was really chubby to say it at least and couldn't run as fast as the others. When we had a important match, I had been forced my the trainer to run faster than I could handle, in the end: I fell on the floor and fainted because of lack of air. 

The team had never accepted me, I have asthma and I can't run as much as the others. Let's not forget my angst that have haunted me ever since then and made me afraid of making mistakes. After every single match when we came home I cried and blamed it all on myself even if we won or not. 

When I was 9, I got hospitalized. I was flying between death and life, I lost my memory, i lost my carving for food, i lost everything. You know what that also means? I lost skills in handball, I started when I was 6 which meant I lost 6 years of learning. I was SIX years of training behind the others, I was useless. When you are at the age of 9 in handball, handball isn't all fun and games, its about winning. 

When it was the last year of that school there was a new team mate. I was the positive and happy person I always was outside the school and training and because her friend after one single training.

I told her about Ann. And how much I missed her... how much I wanted to see and talk with her, even if it was just 5 mere minutes. 

I cried by her answer, she knew Ann.

It wasn't long after that I sat in the living room and my mom handed me her phone, when I took it, it was Ann on the other end of the line. She had called me and cried too. She invited me to her birthday party and we got together again. I made again new friends. 

I have NEVER had friends who wanted to text with me till late at night, in till then when they put me into a group chat. I because a new person, I finally found happiness. 

When fall came, we enrolled the same school, and I yet still parted handball. I had gotten better but I wasn't "good enough". I was again unlucky and broke my hand up to 3 times and often had head arch from school.

But I was happy, Ann started on the team too. But the trainer was a and in the end Ann ended her handball carree. I ended it shortly after too. 

Today, we don't go to the same school anymore. But now as we are more "grown up" the world are smaller and it isn't hard to drive to her place or meet somewhere. I am actually texting with her right now! I found happiness, I love her so much. All this could was fixed by only one person. 

Every since she left me, you could describe me with one sentence: I only look happy. 

That was the story time with author.

Happy birthday best friend <3 I love you so much ^.^