This is the 2nd month into the summer and I'm losing it.

I have not seen anyone but family this summer. I have only seen my friends twice. And one of the visits was to get her to help me in putting up my posters (all Kpop: I have 5 large BTS posters, 2 Rap Monster ones, 2 small BigBang, and 5 LAAAARGE EXO posters) I've had since Christmas.

I have not seen my friends in 2 weeks and have been stuck in the house with my two sisters, locked away in my room.

No matter how many times I Kakao all five of my friends in our group chat, I get a reply from only one of them with two messages (if I'm lucky).

Let me break my friends down to you:

1. The eomma who is usually the only one available if she doesn't already have a friend at her house that's been there for the past week

2. The BALLS ARE LIFE bowling addict with a piano practice every day (is also the only one that drives and has a car)

3. HELLA CHRISTIAN! She has something for church every other day

4. Guardians who treat her like if she steps a foot out of the house without them, she'll die. She had her very first sleepover with us this summer.

5. And then there's me. The only one ever available and seeking human interaction cause I'm going insane without it.

No one is responding to Kakao. I'm the only who uses it at this point. If it wasn't for me, the group chat would be dead. No one is replying to my requests to hangout, not even a "no" or explanation. Just nothing.

I can't take it.

I have been talking to my posters.

Now usually, I just talk to myself cause that's just how loserly I am but ever since I put up my posters, I have faces to talk to. Whenever I listen to music (ex: BTS), I'd talk to my BTS posters and assure the other posters I'd get to them soon enough. I have enough pointed my iPad in a direction so that all my posters can see it. I have asked them questions and paused for their response and carry on with the conversation. And no, I'm not actually like going full out conversations with them, it's just like I read something off my phone and go "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?"

I have read too many fanfictions, that I act like my posters are going to jump off the paper at any moment off and sweep me off my feet.

I'm going to my grandparents tomorrow 8 hours away at last minute (my granddad had an accident that left him injured but he feels too guilty that we're not going cause of him so he said we can come). And I sincerely hate myself right now cause all I'm thinking is "What about my posters??? I'll miss them" but I could never admit that to my family or friends. So that is why I'm ranting to some internet people who will probably never read this and get no response whatsoever.

But I'm losing it.

I'm really losing it.