So, I'm sure some of you get asked these types of questions by your peers. "Are you dating someone?" "When are you going to date?" "You should go on a date"

I am really sick of hearing those questions. For the last 23 years, I have been nagged and complained to about "Why don't you have a boyfriend, Andy?" "When are you going to start seeing someone?" "You should really put yourself out there more". 

The answer is: NOT RIGHT NOW. 

Today was almost my breaking point, but I held it within because my mom was with a coworker and I didn't want to flip out. I once again bit my tongue.

For the last 7 years, I have been labeled "lesbian" /Not that there is a problem with that, I am an ally/ because of the fact that no one has seen me date anyone. So, that automatically makes me part of the LBGTQA+ community, I've always been given that label and especially when I bring up the fact that I do not want to have kids.

So today, out to lunch with my mom, bro's fiance, and her coworker. My brothers fiance is telling her about the ring and brings up kids. I mention, "You better get all the grandkids you want out of her because Im not giving you any" and my moms coworker was like, "Really? Why? The people who say that always end up getting pregant right after" My mom replied, "That would consist of her being with a man" and her coworker looked at like, "Are you a lesbian?"

I had to shake off that assumption and my brothers finace told her I was A-UAL. *Rage table flip* QUIT LABELING FALSE THINGS. IN FACT, DONT LABEL ME AT ALL.

So, I plan on writing down things that explain why I don't date or at least, dont let them know Im seeing someone.

1. I'm not a big fan of boys my race (white) because they remind me of family members. Therefore, I like people of other cultures, but sometimes my family says some ING IGNORANT THINGS WITHOUT THINKING and Im too embarrassed to have him around them. I would probably break up with him the following day out of courtesy of the BS he had to listen to.

2. I am too goal orientated and focused on my dreams to think about someone else. I have abroad plans and I dont want to be held down by someone.

3. I can barely focus on school/work, I can't add another factor into that.

4. I'm not a fan of boyfriend hopping. I'm not the type of person who dates Alex one week, breaks up, dates Paul the next, breaks up, dates Dan... etc. I'll date someone and then reflect on everything for a few years.

5. I'm picky. I have certain qualities I look for in someone, like, NOT BEING A DICKHEAD. Not being a misogynistic . Courtesy. Respect. Doesn't use the words: /Racial slur for African Americans/ /F word to shame homouals/ /Use gay as an insult/. I also want someone that has a dream; that craves to acheive ultimate level of success. 

6. If I do decide to date someone, I have no plans to introduce him to anyone in my life for several months. Theres nothing more cringy than hearing "Oh hey, wheres Alex?" "Oh... we broke up" "I'm so sorry.,,,, Im sure you can do better" Like, if I am going to see someone- I want to make sure its not like a "Hey, Its been a nice 1 month, BYE"

7. After my 6-16-09 (I have a blogpost on it), I feel a little betrayed by guys- so I have a hard time trusting them........... or it could be the boys I attracted....

8. If I do find someone, I'm sure it'll be hard to find someone who is like "Yo, you hate kids too? YEAH!"

9. I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm not attractive because the only people who came my way is a loser, a boy, and someone who wants to sit at home all day and smoke pot. Trash attracts trash..... or its the fact that I still have social anxiety and avoid anyone decent looking :/

10. I barely love myself. I can't love another person with all my heart if I look in the mirror and want to slit my throat.

I dont know. That is my thought process. My reasoning may be a little harsh compared to others... that is just me. That is how I view life and how I want things done.

Please let me know your thoughts. Im sure your parents/family have bugged you guys about the exact same thing. Let me know how you feel about it and what you do to ignor it. 

~Andy