June 21, 2017; 12:03am

In all honesty, there are times when I just want to cut off someone's throat and then feed them to the sharks. Ha.

Though, I don't feel like that now but then again, remembering past moments, there really were (and are) times; and I always, always try to shrug it off. 

There was a time when I got so mad at a groupmate in one of my surgery classes that I almost wanted to spot-on kill him - like right there and then, though not really (lmao conflicted). After all, he was the reason why my cat, which was scheduled for spay (one of the lesser types of surgery), almost died bleeding like hell on the surgery table. 

Who wouldn't get ing mad at that?

But sometimes, like an incessant cat begging for food scraps under the table, my concience always get the best of me. It was as if an angel was telling me to forgive and forget, to love and let go. And like the child (at heart) that I was, I forgave him in the end even if I did wanted to kill him. Ha.

It's weird to be honest, how I get mad at someone but then in the end I tend to forgive them and then make things work. Most of the time, even if it did hurt and made me go ballistic, I try to bear with the pain and keep it deep down inside my (so-called) heart. But, I get wary of them the next time and get paranoid too - which, for a fact, is a classic reaction of mine. (You shouldn't be surprised, to be honest. No one should be surprised!)

It's natural to feel and act that way, right? Right.

But as I keep this trait in line, I realize; the more I keep it in, and the more I forgive, the more and more I get taken for forgranted. 

It's somehow funny. (Like bees to the honey!)

Isn't the essence of forgiveness is to be at peace, to cope up with each others faults and flaws, and moreover, to change what ways are needed to be changed?

That doesn't seem to work with our society today, it seems. 

When you forgive, people automatically see you as a weakling, someone to be preyed upon, someone who has the kindness that sets off to another level that you just have to hop in and enjoy the ride by exploiting each and every corner of your physical body, mental concience and emotional health. That's how forgiveness works today - they take you for-ing-granted. 

Most of the time they forget the reason why they were forgiven in the first place, and they revert back to doing their old ways, and neverminding how they should change their ways for the better, not just for you but for themselves. For themselves.

They get too selfish, and too greedy to the point that instead of accepting their own defeat (as equals to yours), they see forgiveness as a sign of YOUR weakness and defeat. 

And this baffles me, because how can this type of logic work in this oh-so wonderful world we call earth?

This probably is why aliens stopped visiting earth.