This has been bugging me for months, I need to get it out.

I feel like I'm wasting my time writing .. 

Sorry I have to start with that note, but I do, I really do.

I'm a bit tired of blaming my lack of writing due to writer's block, I've realized that's not the main problem, I have ideas constantly swirling through my mind, it's the lack of support that has demotivated me greatly.

I sincerely apologize to my readers, but mostly the silent ones, if any of you reads this; I'm sorry.

I apologize from the bottom of my heart if I sound arrogant or greedy, but as a writer I need to get this out cause to be very honest it's hurting me quite a lot.

I've learned that writing is my passion and escape from reality, my own little world that I love sharing with others. However, I went from receiving daily feedback on certain stories, to complete silence ..

I remember I once read "No comments, no story updates" and I remember thinking how incredibly arrogant that sounded, but now I get it. I sadly get it ..

By saying what I feel at the moment, I feel as if I was punishing my readers simply for not commenting and it makes me feel kinda ty, but at the same time it's so disappointing working so hard on one single chapter thinking excitedly: "Hey, this is a pretty good chapter, I bet they'll love this" and not receiving anything even after weeks of checking in daily.

Writing is extremely tiring and exhausting, editing every cover and chapter cover myself is too and re-reading to spell check is just as exhausting, but I do it with love and hope.

But I'm also tired of getting my hopes up each time I make a poll asking what stories you'd like me to make and getting a good amount of votes, then when I write it, I get nothing .. guys, it's truly disappointing.

Now this isn't a rant so you'd feel sorry for me or mock me, this is what I feel as a writer. It's frustrating, disappointing and saddening as well, and I feel like I'm just wasting my time.

Please, if you enjoy a certain story, tell the writer; you guys have no idea how amazing it feels to receive a simple compliment. It's not about writing big paragraphs, it's about letting the writer know you're enjoying it and they're doing great. I do not blame the silent readers and their shyness, I don't, you're not obligated at all, but please have in mind that you guys; our readers, are the ones that keeps us going, for you! 

Again, I'm sorry if I come off as greedy, but I had to say it because it's been bugging me. I'm sorry if I lose readers for this but I'm sure fellow writers could relate and I hope some readers can understand. Some of us write for you; I write for you guys because I love it and I know how some of my stories have helped some of you, but I can't deny that it hurts seeing nothing.

By writing this I don't expect a swarm of comments or feedback to be honest, I just want people to know that some of us could use support, it's rewarding and makes me feel like I accomplished something.

But for now, I'll write when I can and finish at least one story which might be Pandemonium. I doubt I'll ever stop writing, but please understand I feel little to no support from people and like I said, writing and editing is very tiring, I don't want to feel like I'm wasting my time and overworking myself anymore.

I'm sorry, I hope there's some type of understanding. Thank you for reading!

Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
selena244 #1
I totally understand! As a writer myself I wish to receive comments as well. But I've grown to realize that things usually don't go the way we want. =(
Jumping-Girl-Juliet #2
So, I made a little graphic comic and posted it on Tumblr (here: https://jumping-girl-juliet.tumblr.com/post/161883512483/fanfiction-wordsmith-juliet-something-thats) (I tagged you in it with your Tumblr acct) and I just wanted to come back and encourage you to not give up. While I don't exactly agree with the idea that as authors we shouldn't have an expectation of feedback, I understand the sentiment at least. That said, without too much detail, I can tell you from the start of the process of working to earn money with your writing you WILL BE GIVEN feedback. A LOT of it, in fact, you'll get so much feedback you'll be wishing everyone would just sit down and shut up hahaha That's different of course, but the same too, because every author expects it, at least the kind of authors that expect to get paid. It's not arrogant, it's expectation. You are honing a CRAFT, you are growing your art, you are no different than an artist who does a design and then says "what do you guys think?" and then people give feedback.

I have yet to understand why fanfic authors are treated differently than other fandom artists. That part is common through all of the different fandom communities.

What I haven't found common is how QUIET this (HSJ) fandom is toward their writers. I've written for a lot of fandoms and have never had this experience of so many people reading but none liking, kudos, upvote, etc. It's really put me in a paranoid state to be honest, but I feel better to know that I'm not the only one struggling with that. Cause I was actually struggling with it just this week with a fic I put up that I'd never written that kind of work before and was SO nervous, and no feedback, nothing aaaahhhhhh so nerve-wracking!

The only explanation I can come up with is that people don't want other people to know they read "real life people" fanfiction? Otherwise, what reason could it be? I'm going to read some of your work this weekend and you can fully expect me to light up your comments! <3 I haven't had much time to read these last few months so I am making it a priority!

Finally, DO remember--as I was taught, write for yourself first--write the story you love, write the words you know--be true to yourself, and then even if the only results you get are a handful of loyal people who comment and encourage you, you'll still have your own happiness to fall back on.

PLEASE don't stop writing! If I can help you please do let me know! Big hugs!!
greyrani #3
I'm sorry you feel that way, Mari-chan, and it doesn't sound arrogant at all. I have ever felt the same back then, feeling discouraged for not getting feedback. However, I then asked myself the true purpose of me writing those stories. It's indeed different for each person, but for me, I realized, my purpose for writing is to satisfy myself. I'm not sure how to express it, but I really love writing, and I don't want 'how others see my works' ruin that love. I don't want to be upset because they don't give me feedbacks, that's why now I never set any hope of getting feedback whenever I write, because it will be disappointing like you said if what we get was far from our expectation.

Anyhow, I fully understand what you feel, but please don't be discouraged. If you feel happy when writing, then do continue to write.

PS. I'm sorry that I'm rarely active in AFF nowadays, Mari-chan. Guess, I'm still trying to manage my new life with my new family. :)
real_dimples #4
You don't sound greedy or arrogant. I totally agree and understand where you're coming from. I actually lost quite a bit of motivation because of the lack of comments and upvotes I get. At first, I thought nothing of it because I got a bit of comments, but now I barely get anything. I don't get any upvotes and if I get comments, it's from the same reader. Maybe it's because I get hurt easily​. I'm not sure. But, I'm have quite a lot of subscribers to all my fanfics, it's just disheartening to see no one appreciating it.

I think what also makes me disappointed is that people follow trends. They pick the most popular author's and they stick to that. No one has a chance against them. I've noticed popular author's getting the most upvotes and comments and it kind of hurts to see that you'll never get there because you simply just don't get noticed.

I don't know. I wanted to say something, but I figured people are just the way they are and it won't change anything even if I make a blog. I'm actually pretty close to not writing anymore. I think I've been more discouraged ever since I started posting my stories on here.
Jumping-Girl-Juliet #5
My dear friend--this made my heart hurt. I am on my way out the door for an appointment, so I will come back later and write more--but for now, please know that I TRULY understand your heart here and I am so sorry! Please know, you are not alone. You don't sound greedy--and you are perfectly justified in your feelings. I'll be back in a bit to finish my thoughts! Big squishes for you my dear!
Back to Top ↑