It seems that my euphoric state completely disappeared??? It's been like 5 days ???? 

I applause my mind, it's actually a HUGE progress.

*deeply sigh* 

Since I succeed my exams, I'm stressing over my next year ahahahahahaahahah. My Japanese is NOT as good as I WANT AND IT MAKES ME MAD AS . There is only me who is like this lol. 100% of my time, I overthink about EVERYTHING. For example, tomorrow is my LAST appointment with my psychologist. Right now, I'm overthinking because I'm scared to relapse. But, I'm 1000% better now so I don't understand my brain is being a b*tch right now. Like can you let me live, PLEASE ???? 

Because I'm overthinking, my body is being a b*tch too *roll eyes* I saw the doctor this week and he asked to reduce my stress for my heatlh. I was like "I'm reducing it actually..." but he made a FACE like "GURL, IT'S NOT ENOUGH". I was really uncomfortable because he doesn't witness ALL THE EFFORT I do and he bluntly said to me "You need to reduce it because your heart is beating faster than the normal." ...OK ... But, it's not going to help me if you tell me this neither :/

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I have enough. It's 8th June when I write this which means that I'll see my mom tomorrow... Do I overthink ? GUESS??  YES !! Why ? Sincerely, I don't know lol but I'm always stressed near her, it became a custom. 

Anyway, I was writing a chapter for my fanfic (Idk why I'm doing two fanfics at the same time... One ty idea from my head again I suppose) and I'll go back to it before I get mad and throw everything at the window including myself soon. (but it will not happen because I DON'T WANT TO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE. I'M BETTER BY MYSELF ALONE AND FOCUSED ON MYSELF ONLY)

[It's good to rant while writing instead of doing something silly]