my mind whirls around and around; when did it begin, when did it start?

5, it was 5 and i remember it so clearly. The dream i had where i wasn't me or was it? A boy i was a boy and i was looking at the the girl in my class who made my heart rush. 

Hair slicked back, jean shorts; black, a white shirt and a brown checkered button up shirt that was left open. Holding her hands and her smile so lovely; a kiss, one simple kiss. I remember feeling myself asleep: a big smile.

'This was happiness' I thought. The girl who had my heart and my body the way it needed to be, the way it pleaded to be. Yet i was young and my heart was calling for another. Molly, my heart sang; sang for me to tell her, to finally get to feel happiness.

We go by the classroom door and my heart is pounding; pounding so loud i felt it hit both of my ears. She looked so gorgeous: her big brown eyes and long beautiful eye lashes. When she smiled my heart always skipped a beat. She actually despised me, put up with me because she found me annoying but i felt like i was in love. I held her wrist gently and she gave me an annoyed look and responded with a harsh, 'what do you want?' 

'Be my girlfriend i wanted to whisper, i love you' but nothing was coming out. my mind suddenly halted me and my mouth was left agape and i only responded with, 'we'll be best friends forever right?' her eyes rolled and replied with a, 'yeah, whatever can i go now?'  

That was the beginning.