Because it had been months since youve been diagnosed with cancer. I broke down in tears without you knowing because i knew you wouldnt like it whenever i cry on simple things.
 
Because everything seemed so simple back then. All they needed to do was to perform a surgery to remove the tumor and then wyoud be resuming school when the stitch is healed.
 
You didnt come back.
 
Instead there were more frequent visits in the hospital  more dosages of medicine and added chemo sessions.
 
For years we've talked about our dreams of being a doctor but then one day you told me that hospitals scares you now and you dont think you can stomach the thought of working at one anymore.
 
It was fine. I understood. I thought I understood.
 
Because it had only been weeks since i last saw you. I talked while you fought to stay awake while on medication. We made plans. A lot of them. Things that we can look forward to after your discharge.
 
Because it had been days since i received the message that your heart failed and you were no longer with us.
 
Because it hasnt even been a day since i had been reduced to nothing but sobs at the thought of having to confront the truth that today we were going to have to say our last goodbye.
 
Because it had only been hours since i placed a flower on top of your casket and glanced one last time at the ashened face beneath the glass to confirm that everything wasnt a dream and i lost someone very dear to me before they lower your body to the ground.
 
And im not, not even a second, near to accepting the fact  that you were taken away from us.
 
I begged for time to stop and leave me to grieve. Perhaps time had no ears and it had failed to hear my pleas. Perhaps time had no eyes and it failed to see the amount of tears we have shed.

 

But if time did had both, it remained deaf to our cries and feigned blind to our misery.