Have you ever been told that you have no right to be sad because you have an amazing life? Well, I have.

I was never a fat kid, but I had wanted to be skinny. Skinny like the girls in magazines and fashion shows to the point of desperation, and in the long run developed an eating disorder. Just for the sake of being like the rest, I starved myself 2 months before our promenade. I only ate once a day, and it wasn't even enough. I only ate half the amount of what should be a normal meal. I got what I wanted. I lost 10kgs. People called me beautiful, said that I became thinner, that I looked more like a lady, and in my mind I kept thinking, "huh, this is what's it like to be beautiful." Then I started eating normally again. Ate 3 times a day with normal proportions, but I had completely destroyed my metabolism so I gained back the 10kgs with addition. It was the worst. People had asked what happened to me and all I told them was that it was summer and my mom kept feeding me, which was absolutely not true.

Those cruel thoughts started eating me up again and it started, but it was worse than before. I only ate once every 2 days. It had lasted for almost a month until I started vomitting. Not intentionally, but because my body couldn't handle the food. My body had grown used to being empty that it would reject what I ate. I then got a fever and it broke my heart when I saw my brothers taking care of me saying that maybe I just ate something bad, deceiving them when in fact I ate nothing at all. But the thing that really shattered me was that I had no one to run to. When I told people I was sad they'd say I was just seeking for attention, that some people have it tough and I know. I ing know that others have it worse, but I just couldn't help feeling like this. EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO BE SAD. No matter what the circumstances are, there's no good or bad reason to be sad. If you're sad then you're sad. If you're depressed then you're depressed. It doesn't matter if you have the most amazing life, if something makes you feel bad, then feel anything you wanna feel because there is no petty problems. Each problem are personal, and only you can fully understand it.

You know how I overcame my problems? I met someone through the internet, and she just gave me strength knowing that at least one person believed in me. She didn't say that I was being ungrateful, she was just... there. Always there for me. And now, 2 years later and I'm healthier than ever. I lose weight through this program called crossfit, and now I ate whatever I wanna eat. It was all thanks to her.

And If anyone of you are having troubles please don't hesitate to add me or message me because I would love to be that one person to believe in you. I want to be the one to make you feel beautiful for who you are. I want to put a smile on your face and fangirl about kpop groups together. I just want to be there for you. Message me and I promise I would definitely message you back.