Yo, just a head's up, this is really long and a bit personal, so if you don't like reading that, then please do move on.

Hmm, So The last time I wrote a blog was a couple of years ago. To be honest it doesn't even feel like it's been that long but when I look at my updates for my fic's I see that time does indeed fly by too fast. Things have changed since when I first started out here huh? I still recall updating almost every week and now my readers will be lucky to get an update a month. I'll tell you the truth, knowing and seeing that, kinda of ticks me off. But I'm mainly mad at myself for not trying harder. Back when I was younger I frankly didn't have a lot of friends or much of a life outside of school, JROTC (yes I was in that for three years of high school, I don't really regret that but I was happy to leave.) Or home life, maybe a job when I got older and was allowed too but other then that I had a bunch of free time on my hands so I spent it on writing most of the time. But now that I do mostly just work, or go out to hang with my friends or family, Life about enjoying it and having fun, I just took a lot longer to reach the point of doing that.

I took maybe three years to finally get a good writing space, I use to have to share a laptop with my whole family, so the fact I was so fast is mainly cause I had a time limit. Now I have my own desk, in my own space where no one can just bother me, cause thank you god for a lock on a door, and my own tablet that I don't need to share. But even with that, I still lack something that is important for every writer, a muse. Now I talked about this in an update for "Paw Prints" (By the way, that name was like super random and on the spot lol) A muse really helps one to keep going, I don't have someone to shoot ideas around with and doing that alone is pretty hard. Which brings in why I only update when the feeling and drive hits me.

I know some people have said, a good writer will write even when they don't want too or have anything to write but I'm not like that, I have to have the will or I will just sit at my desk looking at a blank page for a good half hour until I force just a little something to keep me going. I normally hate days like that and then I hate what I write. It's too much of a hassle in my mind.

Another thing is, well for the last few years I have been working on something personal of mine, it started out as a joke one day in class then slowly became real, it was like two years ago when I sat down and got to work for real, if only I could show you how much work has gone into this, but I can't. It's not that  I don't want too, but for personal reasons, for me and for my close friends and family, I have agreed to basically not talk. ( It kinda of if you ask me but I was told why it need to be done and I agree with them.)

Moving on, I always wanted to get close to my readers and or subbers, I don't turn away people who want to talk or ask to be friends, I even have a LINE chat with some of those people. I still go back to some old fics as well and reread the comments people left, cause when I doubt myself in writing, those comments help me remember why Im doing this and make me laugh. I honestly thought my first fic on here would be HATED by everyone, I'm not kidding you, so it did come as a shock to see people enjoy it. It gives you a rush of joy for the moment you read it.

Slowly through out the nearly six years I have been here (July 30th of this year will be six years) I grew a little small readership ( I call it small cause I know other writers with much larger readerships) I love all of them, they have been with me for over half a decade. ( Just thinking that blows my mind) Which makes me sad when I think about when I leave this place. It's already been known that after I finish my four fics (one which is half way done and another getting close to being done.) That I was going to take a break from writing on here, but I think as it gets harder to write more and more on here and as the kpop fandoms move on and change, people change and move on too. As I sit in my new room, I see that I have changed as well and the want to keep writing Fic's kind of left me, I still enjoy reading other wonderful writers stories and I still plan on finishing mine but afterwards I do not think I will keep writing. Nothing is forever though so who knows for sure about things.

I have spent these last couple of years learning and growing, enjoying a fandom I don't think I would know about if not for Youtube videos, learning and finding things outside my own comfort zone. I also have met some great people along the way that helped me enjoy the last few years of my teenhood. Having tons of shows and artist shown to me and making me want to travel and see amazing places with rich history. I will keep writing but just not in fanfic's, I'm not saying I will become an author, god knows I don't think I have the talent for that but if inspiration hits, then we can be sure, I have a notepad and pen in my hand.

So this has been a big mouth full hasn't it? Haven't made a blog post since 2014 and the first one I do after a few years turn into this long letter of sort. But I felt this would be better then shoving it in one of the updates of my fics, don't ya think? lol It might tick some people off that the length only got longer cause I was talking for too long (talking/typing, you know what I mean) So now here comes the part were I say goodbye, and never make another post like this again, but since I'm weird as all hell, I won't be saying goodbye, I will however say.

See you all later~

~Lot's of love

Kitty