Weight Loss Journey & Contraceptives

Hello dear readers!

 

Since Overweight Yet Loving You I've been writing about my weight on AFF and received a lot of attention/support for it. I just want everyone struggling with weight and health issues to know that you are not alone; everyone has their own problems to deal with and we all have that little dark corner in our heart.

Today as I'm writing this, I weigh 79kg.

Now if you've read OYLY or read part 1 and part 2 of these weight journey blogs, you'll know I started off at 82kg, and got to my lightest weight of 72kg around October last year (2016), then gained weight steadily through the past few months.

In February I was actually weighing 81kg, which is pretty much the maximum weight I have ever been in my life. But what changed for me this time, was that I had gained all that weight in 4 months, starting at 72kg.

Now I've been chubby all my life. I always weighed more than my friends, and I was a huge bookworm who hated exercise. My teachers in primary made fun of my often for my lack of fitness, and in high school I could never gracefully pass any of the fitness tests. Carrying extra weight was always an inconvenience for me, and I developed a keen eye for fashion due to the constant need to dress in a way that would best hide my body fat through the years.

But for the first time in my life, I had been somewhat normal in October last year. I had tasted a preview of freedom and agility and looking GOOD for once, so when I gained weight the bad effects were immediate. I started having back and joint pain, which kept me up at night and prevented me from running for long periods of time on a treadmill. I started getting emotional at the smallest things and even once crying because an exam was drawing near (I have never been anxious or depressed due to study before; I'm one of those people who work easy and play in small amounts, so I never pull all-nighters or anything). My hair started thinning again. Acne started popping up all over the place, even on my neck, chest, and .

For the first time in my life I HATED being fat. Sure, I never really liked it, but I'd always sort of accepted it as a minor inconvenience. Never before had I so strongly despised my own body, and let me be honest - looking ugly was only 10% of the reason. Yes, I couldn't fit into the smaller clothes I had bought while at 72kg and I had to get out the ugly baggy stuff I kept from when I was 82kg. But the biggest problem for me was the constant mental effects. I felt disgusting and slow and hazy at all times. I felt like I never had enough sleep, and after lunch in the afternoon I'd fall asleep trying to take notes in a lecture. My back hurt and my acne made it difficult to sit comfortably. Everything was gross and when I was awake enough, I'd hate myself.

Soon enough I went back to my doctor and asked for another blood test. Why had I gained weight so quickly? Ok so maybe I didn't eat clean or exercise often during the festive season, but it shouldn't have had such a huge effect on my health?

To this day, even with my blood test results in hand, I still don't know what the true reason was. However, I am going to take a safe guess and say hormonal contraceptives screwed me up big time.

 

My deficiencies and excess hormones had actually been in control and on the verge of being cured when I was at 72kg. However, because my hair had not grown back, I was desperate to try something that could help my hair. When I asked my doctor, she said the common treatment for PCOS is hormonal contraceptives. These pills supposedly helped me regulate my periods, stop producing so much male hormones and start producing more female hormones. And so I took them.

I took these pills for around 2 months starting in late October, but stopped after experiencing nausea, migraines, erratic heartbeats and mild signs of depression.

2 weeks later I found myself binging on junk food.

Now I'm still not sure if the depression and food binging was related to the hormone pills, but for some reason I couldn't stop eating bad stuff. Every day I just craved sweet and salty and spicy and fried. My mum just so happened to be out of the country for 1 month at the time, so dad and I just ate whatever (which was noodle and instant foods most of the time).

When I hit 80kg I realised I needed to do something. I've pretty much gained back all of the weight that had taken blood sweat and tears to shed! (ARMYS put yo hands up!)

Now in April it's my 3rd week on an official 'diet' and taking supplements. I'm taking medication which is usually prescribed for low thyroid, and it's really helping me to jumpstart my heart rate and digest all my food. I'm somewhat back to a clean eating lifestyle with 2-3 days at the gym per week. I've taken up badminton as a team sport with my friends, and I do weight training in a gym class once a week. Currently I've managed to leave the 80s and at heading towards 78kg.

 

One thing I want all girls to take away from this blog is:

Think carefully about hormonal contraceptives.

I know the doctors say it's not harmful and there will only be some small side effects and oh you'll be fine it just helps with periods and acne...but the doctor is speaking in general terms. Sure, maybe 80% of women who take the pill isn't adversely affected and don't mind staying on it for acne or PCOS. But what about the 20%? What about the 5% who have really severe reactions to it? What about the few who are allergic or immune defensive against synthetic hormones?

Please please think about your own medical choice instead of putting all your trust in the doctor. Sometimes, it just takes a little bit of research and a little bit of patience. Good things will come in the end, if you're prepared to ready yourself and wait for it.

 

P.S. I'll update the BTS stories some time next week! I'm so rusty now from being on hiatus but I'll make sure to satisfy you <3

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