the good memories and the tough reality of the present

17 years...17 years spent with a man who in reality didn't even really want me. My father was decent. He never hit me. He gave me plenty and I was always grateful. My father was controlling though. He put me in a place in where i didn't know how to be independent and so i would have to rely on him. Talking with him was never a thing. We talked about simple things: how are you, what did you do today, what are you doing, and i love you's. It was never more. My dad would never like me talking about my mother or her side of the family. He said my mother never cared and was awful when in reality she would send me cards every birthday and try to have contact but my father refused. 

at 17 i realized I was transgender. That mentally and emotionally felt like a boy; a man. Yet I knew that if i lived with a man like my father I would never get t o be who I really was. He remarried. A woman who was strict and didn't like things not going her way. She outed me to my father. That i liked girls. I trusted her and she broke it. My dad never looked at me the same way. He never liked me talking about girls or wanting a relationship. At that point I knew that if he found out i was trans..I was done for.

When I was outed my step mother made me stop talking to my best friend. said that she was a problem. Depression hit at that moment. Depression was all i ever felt with my father. When i decided to talk to my mother, i came out to her immedietly. but only that i liked girls. She accepted me fully and we saw each other secretly for awhile.

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Somebodywhoeatspears #1
And you stepmother is a (just wanted to say that)
Somebodywhoeatspears #2
Wait...... Is that a real strory? Let me correct that, is that your story? Well if it is then I'm sorry bro, you had a rough time. Let's say it's a real story, you know that you can decide from 14 and over years of age with which parent you want to live right? Well idk what country you live in but in the most countries it's like that. From my side, I'm not really that old (only 16) and I didn't have much of a problem coming out to my parents and friends so yea..... Don't have much advise to give you. Just don't give up on life and you'll be happy one day. I'm happy that you could contact your mom! Fighting! ;p
(this is only if the story is real, if it's not then..... Idk)