Last Friday as I'm planning to meet the Youths--something happened. I've prepared myself physically, specially emotionally before visiting them. I know that I'm not in a good shape and at that moment I'm like a stick that's about to fall whenever a light wind blow. But I couldn't dismiss the time that I only have to meet them, a special time so I can give words of hope and encouragement to someone who's battling something in life or undergoing trials. When I got out of the car the kids greeted me with their smiles and so I did. I muster all the strength that I have just to put up a smile. Then I continue to walk inside but before that someone held my hand, stopping me from entering the building. He said. "Ate ('A-te' its an address for a female who's older). Ate, why are you faking your smile?" My eyes widened when he told me that but I manage to keep it cool. I replied. "What are you talking about? You're overthinking things." Then I lightly pat him on the shoulder and went inside. I quickly went to the comfort room and locked myself inside. I know that the kid said the truth. I'm faking my smile because at that moment I'm not in a situation where I can put up a genuine one. And then I started to doubt myself. Am I faking now? When did I learn how to fake my motives? Then I realized something. When you're not in a good situation and in the middle of pressure, when life gets through you, when all you think is the walls in your life it will block your perspective. I over analyzed and had come up a destructive thought because I'm under stress. Stress is like a tainted sunglasses that's blocking the natural color around us. All we can see is the color of the sunglasses wherever we look but if we try to remove it we will see that it's not true. This is not the color of the world, 'it's colorful'--it's not only heartache, envy, jealousy, pain, hatred, suffering--there's also joy, contentment, and victory. Maybe what he said was wrong. I'm not faking my smile. I'm not faking anything. At that moment my smile just reflected what I truly felt. I need to smile, I have to smile, so I can show up the people around me that you can manage to put up a smile even though your current situation is dragging your lips down. It's not my words when I'm encouraged that will motivate them, it's my testimony when I'm down, discouraged and weak that will inspire them. In your weakness, there your strength will rise :)