When I was in first year, I was in a "mutual understanding" with someone for a short period of time — and that someone is who I see as my first love.

Flashback to my second grade, this guy was my seatmate. He was kind and considerate, unlike others. He treated me to recess a few times and amongst the other guy classmates I had, he probably teased or mildly bullied me the least. Third and fourth grade, he wasn't in my class — he had the morning class and I was in the afternoon one. I still remember lining up outside the classroom early in the morning just to see him leave the room after their class. (We shared the same classroom) Sixth grade, and he was my classmate again. We never talked a lot, but a few of my friends knew I had a crush on him and teased us as being cute together. (Never believed them lol)

Back to first year, relationship didn't work. After 2 years, I was stupid enough to tell him that I'd like to erase the memory of our closure — and it took me years to realize how mean of me to do that and I'm not even pretty, smart nor kind to act like so. Recently I had been dreaming (in my sleep) of people in my elementary and high school days, it might sound weird but yes, and been appearing in my News Feed quite a lot which rarely happens.

This is not to encourage the new generation to fall in love, nor get to a relationship easily or too fast. I lost my mom recently, and have no one to tell this story of since I can't really tell her about it in the past when I was still a kid. But now, realizing things, I feel like it's going to consume me if I don't tell.

First love never dies, they say — and I guess it's true. Because until now, after years, I still like my first love. Not romantically, but someone I'd still love to be friends with.

P.S. I just felt the need to post this somewhere because I'm getting so anxious about it. I might explode. I know it's childish since I was still in high school but I don't know, that's what happened. :( If you read this, thank you and I appreciate it a lot. I'd love to have someone to chat with about childish things. :) No proofread, just copy-paste because I'm lazy like that, lol.