I lost battles .

battles of acceptance 

importance 

love

hope

faith 

I now laugh at my tears 

not trying to hold back 

cause holding back 

makes me think crazily 

rips my soul in half 

even though I smile laugh and show I have fun 

I cry myself to sleep , feeling like a mistake 

giving up on trying 

thinking about leaving this world 

to go to a different one far up 

but I can't 

cause in my shattered heart ,

I show empathy and love 

i often think 

Is it worth the hundreds that mourn over my grave 

family I've never met will see my face 

giving my dream up .

I don't know if I seem selfish but I want to be away from people 

I wanna spend my life on this 

AsianFanFics 

where people show love 

not hate 

I've lost many battles 

I don't want pity 

I want understatement and warm hugs ( they make me feel better :) ) 

thanks for reading this long a$$ poem 

love GbossS