File: Miss UNIVERSE 2016
Timestamp: 01 - 30 - 2017
Size: 5.76KB

I've decided to start a blog. Mostly because I've heard it helps thinking, and I definitely need help with thinking. Like John Watson from the TV series Sherlock (2012). Though, I have no high-functioning sociopath to run ammock with, solving crimes and the like.

Anyway, I will be blogging about the mundanity of my life and hopefully somebody finds this helpful.

My name is _beyonce, but you can call me Queen (because people here always crack about me being queen due to my username). I am a queen. by my own right, but not ones of grandeur with mansions and a hundred shoes. I am the ruler of my own body and life, and I should really tone down the 'women empowerment' speech, I get it.

 

Speaking of Queens, today is a most important day for us, Filipinos.

 

(Gasp!)

 

Yes, I am a Filipino, and godamn proud of it. Yes, I do sing. Yes, we don't use utensils to eat sometimes, when the food is really good. Yes, we always eat rice. No, I'm not a nurse or DH.

 

Guys, Filipinos are real and very much asian.

 

Getting back on track, today, on the 30th of January, we celebrate the crowning of the next Miss Universe in the Philippines! (Das right, we are the host country, we petitioned for January 30 to be a special holiday, and we all stopped work to watch on our tiny phones and televisions the 2016, Miss Universe!)

 

We, Filipinos, are so obsessed with the pageant culture. We hold, at the very least, one pageant per barangay (village) every month. (Exaggeration, but also mildly true.) We love to dress up, walk the runway, and scream to the world our beliefs.

 

"My name's Ariela Cruz, 21 years old from the pearl of the east, kung saan kulang sa bigas, mataas ang presyo ng gaas, at maraming mandurugas, Philippines!"

 

Only my fellow countrymen will get the joke, sadly.

 

Every year, we pause everything to see which place our representative will get, because let's be honest - and I'm not bragging, I swear - we always get a place somewhere. Like I tell you, Filipinos are obsessed with beauty pageants. I mean, who would pass up the opportunity to dress up in garish outfits and makeup and win money in the end?

 

Come on, guys.

 

I'm sure we all had a lot of bets regarding who's going to win. I, personally support my country's representative (Maxine Medina) and Canada's (Siera Bearchell).

 

Maxine Medina's sunny disposition and Siera Bearchell's unique body made me fall in love with them both.

 

To be completely truthful, I did not expect for both of them to win at first. After Pia Wurtzabch's admittedly awkward win last year (also our representative. , yasss), it would be a bit strange for our country to win. Especially when we're the host country of the pageant. It will be most controversial. But then again, what's new?

 

I had to laugh when the committee of the Miss Universe event announced that Steve Harvey will be hosting the pageant once more.

 

And boy, did I laugh harder when Miss Columbia was in the top 3. 

 

But, those were not the only reasons why I doubted our country's candidate. While her smile is as golden as her skin, her answering skills...

 

... Yeah, not so much.

 

It is not a secret that Maxine greatly feared the question and answer portion, and I bet most of the contestants feared it as well. Being a speaker and an outgoing person, I find that kind of disappointing. Pageant agencies (yes, we have pageant agencies. I told you all, we are obsessed) should teach future candidates not to fear the question and answer portion.

 

She even used an interpreter! Then, answered in English. Like, boi whut?

 

"She chose to impress than to express," I read on twitter. And, it's true. There is no shame in speaking your native language, especially if you are most comfortable in it.

 

She did us proud, anyway, bowing out of the pageant as one of the top 6. 

 

Miss Canada on the other hand, she was exquisite. She really seemed sharp, seeing as she is a law student (*squeal bc im taking a prelaw course and plans to study law!!!!!*). Also, her body is refreshing, a nice change from all the lean meat we see on stage every year.

 

I'm not hating on slim figures, guys. I'm just an advocate for body positivity. 

 

She posessed so much potential, is eloquent, and very much y. I didn't expect her to win because of her size. I loved her very, very, very much, but it's how the competition goes. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it, pha! 

 

Sigh, but that's just me. Maybe she did lack somewhere, or it's just that everyone's better than her. It's a matter of perspective, ya kno.

 

(*Tears* she was perfect in my eyes *sniff*)

 

Anyway, Congratulations to Miss France! Félicitations, Iris Mittenaere! We hope you make a change in the world!

 

And goodbye, Pia Wurtzbach, but hello to new opportunities after the Miss Universe campaign. Our country welcomes you back with open arms.

 

P.S.

Pia Wurtzbach is the banner because she's so goddamn beautifully confident with a heart.