I'm feeling a little torn at the moment and I just need to get some stuff off my chest, so I hope you guys don't mind.

I think I've spoken about this before, but I'll reiterate it now: My brother is a Non-Verbal Autistic child. He's now 5, turning 6 in March.

My brother was a miracle baby at birth because he his cord wrapped aroud his neck and his arm a few times.  I'm honesty so blessed to have him in my life even though he is the way that he is.  He's a bit of a hassle to take care of, being that he can't communicate what he wants like the rest of us can, and he's also extremely hyperactive.  He's practically attached to my mom's hip, and he's gotten to be so overbearing that he hits her and tackles her, but he doesn't mean to do it in an aggressive way, that's his way of showing affection and he doesn't understant that he's hurting someone.  Ever since he was younger, we've had teachers for him come to our house for Occupational Therapy and Speech Therapy so that he could talk.

I think my parents gave up.

It's not that they've given up being parents to him and they want to just throw him out of our lives, no they would never do that.  But I feel like they're losing hope that he'll talk on his own or with the therapists.  So my mom decided to ask her priest for a spiritual take on it.  Now, I'm mixed, so my parents are too different religions, my mom is a Hindu and my dad is a Jew.  My dad is extremely religious and doesn't agree with my mom's religion.  She doesn't practice actively because we practice Judaism in the household.  I've been raised Jewish my entire life, so any concept of Hinduism for me is alien.  In recent times, I think I've gotten more in touch with my spiritual side, so I feel very connected to my religion.  So when my mom consulted her Pundit, she came back to tell us that he will try to clear up the "darkness in his path," but my mom needs to do a jhandi for my brother now.  She wants me to be a part of it because he's my brother and I should be there. My dad is definitely not going because he's very married to his religion, but my mom says that I still have her blood inside of me so I should go.

In all honesty, I don't want to go.  It's not because I don't want to help my brother, I want him to get better and I want his to be blessed with his speech, but that's not my religion. Not just that, I just don't feel comfortable being there around the ceremony. I don't know to do, I've been to jhandis before, but I just don't feel like it's my place.  I've told my mom that I don't want to go, but she's so offended by it.  I just don't know what to do.  If I go, I feel like I'm doing a terrible thing in betraying my religion, but if I don't go then my mom will be so disappointed in me...  And what if by not going I'm not helping my brother?  But in the same sense, what if nothing even happens after all this?  If I go, will God forgive me?  What if this is a test to see ow devoted I am to my religion?  I just feel so torn...

Thank you guys for reading, I'll try to be more active in writing.  I have more ideas for stories, and I started rewriting Change of Fate, so hopefully I'll be able to finish it.  I hope things are well with everyone.  Have a great day guys!