Story Link: 100 days

Author Link: Mequ12

Overview

There were a number of problems I kept seeing throughout your story. First, when there is a speaker, you need to use the correct quotation marks which are these: " "
You kept using this: -    which is incorrect. 
In your story, you frequently used ellipsis which is this: ...   for various things like interruptions or trailing off. This symbol is used for interruptions: —
When you wrote, I saw that you used Jaejoong's nickname, Jae, many times while narrating. I suggest you not use a character's nickname while narrating because it takes away the seriousness of the story. 
I'm sure from my corrections, you can see where you went wrong.