A lady came into my life at the age of 12. We fought , nagged, teased, hated, lost trust, swore at each other whenever, wherever. But something lagged between us. K-pop somehow made us friends.

At age 13 she came to be in my class, and we grew stronger in our frenemy relationship. We hated each other, cried because of the latter and fell and was touched by the tiniest of actions. Laughed at the same jokes and felt differently about each other. Days passed, and I knew what this incompleteness was. Days passed and she realized it. 

We realized we loved each other, dearly, than expected. 

But we hid it anyway. It was not really going to happen. "Us" is impossible.. 

At age 14 we were separated to opposite classes. Still, feelings went on and stood on. We talked about this, we realized we were supposed to be something but we avoided it deliberately. Friends told it's impossible, I went on with feelings. Tried suppressing it but it was way over the limit and it wouldn't just stop. A week ago I left the country, one, trying my best to overcome all feelings. two, confess. I didn't give a damn if she would accept..I didn't want her to slap me face. Waited....wanted. no gain....chucked it. Life is unfair and went on without her. She chatted with me yet I wouldn't tell anything. 

But I couldn't really go over with her. She stuck to me. For reason, i haven't found out. 

2 days ago, she confessed. Then I did. My relationship status upgraded to : taken by my frenemy. 

Describing how happy I am , may take a day for me to write and an hour for you to read. Happier and the happiest. 

It was a mere wish...which came true. Life has been unfair but it's fairness comes like thunder. I learned. 

And today is her Birthday. I am not there with her, by her side. But I did my best to make her happy. I promised her to make her feel touched, but I am not sure I did. Sometimes, i feel I am not worthy of her and she is worthy of someone better than me. But if she wants me I don't think I want anything more than that .

Right now, I feel guilty for not being by her side, and because I am helpless, sad because I can't attend her birthday and happy because she loves me and I love her and the impossible became possible. "Us" happened. 

I just wish we go on forever....at the least till our death bed. If the heavens know our hearts we may go even after death. 

Anagha, I really really adore you, i really love you. Please know that. 

I don't know if my close friends may feel awkward or whatnot, but I tell what I want to tell. And I am proud. Prouder than I will ever be. You're my first remember. 

I at emotional messages But writing this to you in the Car, at 10:42 am, is the best i could do. I don't if I need to apologize, but my gift to you, is just me, Maybe!~

--yours, Elsa.