16 October used to be a normal day if it wasn’t I most probably panicking what kind of present should I buy for my little brother for his birthday since I left with 4 days left till his birthday come. Since 2010, 16 October has become another important day to be noted in my planner.

You guys probably know about me having minor depression and anxiety and Beast have been helping a lot. Every year, at this time, I thanked them, for being the people I lean on whenever time get rough. I said this before and I never going to be tired saying this again, I never regret being your fans. To be honest, for only saying thank you is note enough, so in exchange, I promised to be there for them no matter rain or shine so that what I’m doing. For all 6 of them.

I said myself back then, Music is a huge power. Music inspires people, music change people, music effects the mood and atmosphere and music are the best companion for everyone. That how I link myself with Beast. That how I first discover Beast. That what I have in common with Beast, our love and passion for music. Until now, their music is still the music I anticipate the most, I wish they get to experiment with more music genre, although that what they doing, and believe me, ballad is not the only thing they are good at.

I guess I really fell for them deeply as time goes on because starting from Oh My School, I fell in love with Yoseob, Gikwang, Dongwoon, Hyunseung, Doojoon then Junhyung. By liking them, I did things I never did before, I pre-ordered album, I donate under their name, I skipped class too (that is not good so don’t do it x’D), I also get to know a lot more of beauties online (and that came from a person who is socially awkward, making one is already a miracle) and created beautiful memory with these people with one thing in common; our love for Beast.

6 years… They have accompanied me for 6 years, they were there when I started to have depression. When I feel like just lying on my bed whole day, ignoring everyone including my parents, when I feel like I want to disappear or melt into the mattress or something, their music pulled me back up. They keep me strong and Light Goes On Again did help. I never was a rebellious teenager; I guess I’m a passive rebel? Like I ignore my parents all the time and now I felt guilty because my parents were trying to stay connected with their own daughter and I ignored them. There a lot more things that I did in silence... Well those are the time that I haven't matured yet (not so matured now too OTL). Anyway~ You get the point. 

6 years, from what a high schooler to going to be a degree holder, Beast has been with me up and down. It might sound ridiculous, but when it’s getting tiring, their music energizes me, when I need a laugh, their variety show helps me with it, whenever I want to escape for a while, they helped me with it. They also have become an inspiration and the reason I started to choose writing as my new passion after music.

There so much to say and though I already write a lot it never enough for me to show how thankful I am for knowing Beast, for letting all 6 of them to come in my life and for being their fans, for making fangirling worthwhile. This year, a lot of major changes will take place. At this difficult situation, I hope I’ll get to give Beast some strength and be with them like how they are for me. Whatever they decide I will always support all 6 of them, as a group and individually.

To be honest I am very much relieved when they said beast won’t renew their contract with Cube… Though Cube has not come out with an official statement but I’m sure Beauties are pretty much relief.  I hope everyone would support them in their new ventures and look out for them and for each other. It won’t be easy from the bottom but I think we can pull this through.

No matter now, in the past or in future, I never regret to be a beauty. Without Beast, Beauty won’t exist and somehow thank you for setting me to have the right mindset and shape who I am now. That how an Idol influence a person. That why Idols are people that you look up to. That what fangirling is all about.

Born again still a Beauty.

#waitATTHATPLACE #AlwaysWithBeast #THANKSTOBEAST #stillinMYheartJS
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