So yeah basically I'm typing this one with no plot it in my head. I just write whatever comes in my mind. Well, I'm kind of sad right now because I still do not have a job (I recently passed the board exam so I was thinking that I should take like a month of break) but my family is making me feel that I'm a useless first-born, especially my grandmother. It's like they're disappointed at me everyday because I am still not yet employed 😓 My grandma keeps on telling me to apply here, apply there... And my mom? Well, every other night she always asks me "what happend to your application in *insert company name here*?" and I was like "my friend said that she'll follow it up to her boss" I'm feeling like a big disappointment in this family 😓 When I'm applying for a job online, it always doesn't suit me. It's either I lack years of experience and/or it's very far from our house And yes, I'm kind of feeling hopeless at this point in time. I'm just reasoning out that I will just look for a job after our Oathtaking (which will be on Oct. 5) UGH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! Every night I'm always having difficulty to get some sleep. It'll always take me for about 2 to 3 hours before I could fall asleep 😓 I could somewhat understand myself though (that I'm just worrying alot) I DO NOT KNOW I WANT TO TAKE A VACATION AWAY FROM OUR HOUSE IT FEELS SO SUFFOCATING HERE 😓 ESPECIALLY MY GRANDMA AND MOM WHO ALWAYS PRESSURE ME 💔 HELP? ANYONE?