Apologies for the slow updates...

hey guys, i feel like i talk about this all the time on my twitter and facebook, and i'm sure to those friends who share those social networks with me, i probably sound like a broken record.

but i've had people coming up to me concerned or bummed out about my lack of updates or slow updating and i think i owe you guys who don't follow me on twitter or facebook an explanation

i'm in a transitional period in my life.

as some of you already know, two things have happened recently:

the first - i got a new job. jumped companies, jumped industries, huge salary and title boost, but with that also comes lots of new responsibilities. i've been going in earlier, going home later, working over the weekends just to make sure my first year i'm making a good impression.

the second - i'm going to be married sometime within the next year. (in case yall don't know, i'm old)

i say 'sometime' because i'm having really bad family problems surrounding the wedding. i could go into it more and more, but it's been dragging me down to a bad place and i've been crying about it every night and don't particularly want to relive it. brief version is that my mom is upset at me for her perception that I've not been including her in my wedding planning. among the many things she's done to demonstrate her disappointment in me, the biggest include cutting off contact with me, forbidding me to go back home to taiwan to get my rings and visit my aging grandfather, and forbidding me from discussing anything with my family. my dad's been emotionally unavailable.

i have a hard time dealing with emotions. things get jumbled in my head somehow and i can't process them very well, so when i'm upset i tend to just shut down, lose motivation, and just get real damn sad. it feels as if i've been screaming into a void.

i know i've condensed things down to two paragraphs, but i need you all to understand for me that this is my every day life. i wake up early, go to work for 9 hours in a corporate office where i'm expected to smile and be friendly to everyone, and then when i go home mentally exhausted, my dad has called me every day of every week to tell me how i'm lacking as a person and how i need to do better in my life.

let me first say that i know i'll be alright. i'm admittedly a bit depressed right now, but i've always been a glass half full person. i know i'll bounce back, it'll just take some time.

that being said, i'm just emotionally drained, and the impact of that means that while the desire to write is still there, i just haven't had the time nor the mental capacity to write sometimes, especially since i tend to write about the things that are currently affecting me. i don't want to give you guys poorly written chapters that are emotional hot messes, haha.

anyway, tl;dr, i'm sorry for all this. i wish i could update as frequently as i used to before. it's not that i don't have the inspiration! i love taoris, will always love taoris, will go down with this ship. i just ask you please to be a little patient with me while i navigate this part of my adult life.

and thank you so much for all those of you kind souls who leave long comments and well wishes and wall messages. i read them all. i'll always read them all. i treasure every one of them. your words and support mean everything to me. i know my replies are sporadic at best, and i know i have habits of disappearing out of conversations for weeks on end, but that's a combination of my real life life and my own social anxiety. i'm sorry, i'm lacking in some ways. i'll always try to do better. sorry this was rambling!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
BurnTheCity #1
I am very... Deeply affected by this. Angry at the people who make such an amazing human being feel like this, and sad because you must endure this abuse.
I don't really know what to say, other than that I want to give you a big, comforting hug and tell you it will be alright in the end, and I will wait for your updates, even if they take an eternity. Your fics are gold and I love your taoris and your fluffy characters and nasty , but more important is that I love you as a person. You are wonderful and even if we haven't ever met or exchanged a word, I will be here on the other side of the screen smiling and telling you to keep going. Thank you and goodbye I'mma go live in my taoris bubble now~
pleaseletthiswork #2
I'm sorry to hear that things aren't going as planned for you, and that life is hectic, but please try to find good things in each day. Maybe the little things in your life will make you less depressed. I hope to see more of your work and for you to have a happier year. I hope I'm not too late in commenting. Please don't give up on yourself.
Le_fangirl #3
The wait is always worth it for whatever plot or chapter you bless us with and you really shouldnt worry about keeping your readers at bay since we're here to support you. You've been, hands down, one of the best taoris authors out there and we sincerely appreciate you for simply gracing us with your ing amazing writing. You're at a crucial point in your life, with the wedding, the family and your job, so we absolutely understand your position and you dont have to apologize for that. In fact we should be apologizing since we cant do much. Hopefully you'll get through this, everything will pass by smoothly and this will all be behind you. Congratulations on the engagement and i wish you all the best. You'll figure out that sometimes most problems fix themselves. Don't stress yourself too much and always take a break if you need it. It wouldnt hurt to rest you mind and your body.
-your uber mega super fan
ArmyPrincessSarah #4
I may not know you personally, but I'm so proud of you & I know you are an amazing person & you should hold your head up proud. You are going placing & doing things in the world & soon it'll all pay off.
(*˘︶˘*).。.:*♡
etteine #5
Congratulation on your upcoming wedding as well as getting a new job!! I'm sure there is no problem at all delaying your updates. I am of the opinion that priorities matters; in this case your private life. It'll take some time but I'm sure you'll cruise through this just fine.
PS: I just want to say that I really admire your perseverance amidst all of the chaos and emotional roller coaster that you're going through right now. You're amazing and hush dear, age is but a number. Everyone is sonnet 18 in this world (*・∀-)☆
ImBigBangsVIP #6
Awwww I'm sorry to hear that but no matter what you have me and a whole community of readers that are here to support you! Things sound pretty tough for you right now and we all really appreciate you telling us what's going on. I know we can't really fix or help you with all of your challenges now, but believe me I would carry all of them for you if it could. If it's any kind of consolation, I hope you at least know that your work and stories and writings and everything have touched so many people across the world really. I reread your stories all the time and I'm sure that there are many like me! Even if it takes you a while to update this whole community will wait for you with anticipation for each new chapter. Regardless of how long it takes. I hope that everything starts getting better for you soon and congrats on your wedding and new job! You've already done so many great things and I'm sure that there's even more to come!
seonri9095
#7
We know all author out there, especially the good one like you, have their own life and a perfect amount of stress+problem. We all have it, so don't pressure yourself. We read what you write, you don't have obligation to update if we demand, this is your story. Keep strong, i hope your day will be better :)
hztttaoohs #8
We're here for you shu! Even if you just know us through the internet we'll still be here for you ♡ You'll get through your problem! You're a strong and brave girl we know that. Everything happens for a reason! Always stay positive. We love you shu! Take care always and continue being the awesome and lovely person that you are! ♡
fabulous91 #9
You don't owe us anything. Just focus on your life dear author-nim.
Fighting!!
run-sober-wolf #10
Aww you beautiful human being, you are an awesome writer, and I'm sure a wonderful person as well... Literally nobody expects you to update every fanfic you write every 2 or 3 weeks because we understand, we all have things in our own lives that we need to tend to...Priorities, buddy, everyone's got them...Do what makes you feel happy and better about yourself, and don't worry about the problems right now; they will definitely become better...

Congratulations and good luck on your future plans ;D (WARNING: EXTREME CHEESINESS) Remember to keep your head high and smile cause the storm will pass and you will be happy basking under the colours of the rainbow...You make me soo happy and I hope you become happy as well...
Geminiatheart #11
I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I'm not the talented writer of the two of us. So all I can offer is hang in there! And look forward to your future with a new career and a new husband!!! I'm very excited for you.

Most importantly, never feel as if you owe us anything, your personal life is far more important than updating fanfiction every week or two. Please take your time, and never apologise for being who you are. What you see as "lacking", I see as a wonderful, truly talented author who is dedicated to her work and takes the time to reply to her fans. When you told me you remembered my username from comments in chapter updates, it made my day. Hell, it made my whole year. Your writing has influenced me hugely, made me laugh, made me cry, and even made me change my taste in music thanks to your wonderful playlists. You go well above and beyond the standard of fandom authors. There is no one quite like you.

Hate to be super cheesy, but to quote Love Actually, " To me, you are perfect" <3
DevilsPetal
#12
I know I am not the biggest comment writer, but I read everything you write (or almost everything) and I love every last bit what I did read.
No matter what people (here or anywhere) say, do not let yourself be pressured into stuff you don't want to do. It's your life and the one who has to live it is you.
I am sorry that you have to deal with such awful parents (or parents who treat you awful). I wish you all strength and happiness and if there is something we can do, wether saying something or whatever, let us know :)
Fighting!
mairotic_ #13
oh honey, never feel bad about not updating, okay? we will wait. we know life is not all about internet anyway. so be happy, please? congrats on your new job and your upcoming wedding! good luck and stay happy and healthy. :)