So because it is Pride Month I wanted to tell you guys a story... (this is going to be a bit long)

I am a proud lesbian . I don't mind to say out loud and I don't mind what people will think. This is just me... I was born this way...

When I started realizing my feelings towards my same gender I was scared as heck so I started bullying other people (yes I was a bully and I regret it so much) to make me feel good about myself. I became more feminine to make boys like me (it failed miserably xD) and many things to make me forget about my "problems".

I was desperate to find boyfriend I really was looking for a boyfriend so hard that I did some unhealthy and just plain out idiotic.

Until one day I fell in love with a girl (she was 11 years old and I was 12 years old)... We became best friends. I changed my attitude. I change my way of thinking. I change to a whole another person... She was my everything. Thanks to her I felt happy once.

But lucky me that she was straight and she had a crush with my male best friend.

At first I was devastated so devastated actually that I was telling her lies about him. I told her that he was a playboy, a guy who uses girls just for fun (That was the worst mistake that I have ever done in my life)

I wanted her to be mine.... I was really selfish

But in my 6th grade graduation I realize that she wasn't going to be by my side. She was going to a different middle school that I was going.

In the Class Day (a little prom after graduation). I wasnted to dance with her and have lots of fun but because she still had a crush with my male best friend, I decided to put them together. 

My heart felt crushed that I didn't got the chance to dance with her, but she was so happy and greatful for me to pair her up with him. The two eventually confessed there feelings to one another and they seal it off with a kiss.

Everybody was happy for them. Everybody cheered for both of them.

But I was really overwhelmed with feelings. Sad, anger, jealousy, you know the horrible feelings.

I had many times try to confess to her but I was so scared of her reaction.

After that event I never knew about her (not even today)

It was summer break and I started to become a person who kept her feelings to herself I became shy and worried a lot of what people would think about me

Middle School came and it was one hella of a roller coaster. 

I got heavily critizied about my looks. 

Almost every girl in middle were beautiful as hell like beautiful.

And I was a pretty obvious girl so everybody started to suspect that I was a lesbian.

I didn't wanted anybody to think that way about me and I started to be more girly (the things that I don't like) 

Middle School was a for me. I was becoming the same desperate girl that wanted a boyfriend because I wanted to prove that I wasn't a lesbian.

I started to date boys and it was awful....

When I kissed them... It didn't felt right... It felt disgusting and the exchange of saliva was horrible (for me)

I decided to give up

The summer before I started High School I was dealing with my feelings....

One night in particular I looked throug my bathroom mirror. I was reflecting about myself.

In my mind I was like "Girl YOU CAN DO THIS JUST SAY IT!!! This is who you are, no need to be afraid"

I was staring at myself for more than 20 minutes. I took a deep breath and whisper...

"I am gay"

Then I started crying feeling proud of myself. I knew that it was going to be a really good chapter in my life.

Then high school came...

New people in my life. New changes....

Literally my high school is one of the gayest schools you can find in the whole entire world.

I started to be more open minded and I started to give up on everything... I wanted to be free and be who I was...

I cut my hair... Started to be more masculine... And started to become happy again. I didn't give a what people would think.

I came out to my mom (the only member in my family that I a bit) She doesn't accept it but she respect it. She tells me that it is just a face that I will go through then I will start liking boys. In didn't surprise me that she said that but I was disappointed. But what can you do... My family is closed minded.

I know that we LGBT get hate because we are different but we have to stand up by ourselves and don't let them break our community.

Don't hate what you don't understand...

I still haven't found a girl that I like yet because this girl has become quite anti-social and it's hard to find a lesbian in my school (unless it is me) 

Yes I am single as  

but anyways

I am proud to be myself 

And you should be proud of yourself too

Happy Pride Month ^^

LuSheng OFF