Love Songs - Holy Grail --> Explained.

 

 

 


So.... I talked with my roommate about this, wether it was a good or a bad idea to explain the story... I was thorn between letting you have your own interpretation or give you the full story. I decided to explain better everything so that it would ease those that wandered about what the was wrong with Jiyong.


 

 

 

 

HOLY GRAIL EXPLAINED

 

 

 

 

Let's begin with their relationship.

In the story, as it's written by Seungri's point of view, it's easy to see Jiyong as a er, a bastard that plays with him, but that's just because Seungri believes to what Jiyong wants him to believe, as it's said when talking about Holy Grail.

The thing is that Jiyong saw from the beginning Seungri as his, seeing him in a way that he knew he shouldn't. In many ways the story itself can be seen by both sides: at the beginning, Jiyong decided to distance himself, to distract his thoughts from the younger by dating and seeing other girls, but it backfires him. In his mind, Seungri would have stayed his, and when he found out about his girlfriend, he kind of had a jealousy rampage, he wanted to show Seungri that girls were "evil" that he was the only one he could stay with and all, but he realizes as well that what he's doing is wrong.

As said by Seungri, many times he tried to distance himself from the younger, Kiko was his way to keep his head away, keep his jealousy in check, but as soon as he thought he would be able to stop his feelings towards the younger, Seungri caught his attention, making his way back in his mind through what worked best: jealousy.

Jiyong was going through a huge crisis, he held feelings for a man in an homophobe country, on top of that they were both notorious figures –him even more than the other– and most importantly in the same band, and on top of than that there was to take in account that he, himself, kind of hated Seungri as he was his temptation, because on one hand he thought it would be better if the younger kept his distance, stayed away, rejected him or, at least, take it passively as a occasional thing, but he didn't. Seungri looked for him, looked for his attention, and for Jiyong, he was being played.

All those lingering feelings led him to self despite, such a loath that he had few ways to deal with: one, running away, hiding; two, distracting himself with girls; three, being with Seungri. When most of the time he chose the others, there were his weak times as well, sometimes the anger he felt, he would let out towards what he identified as the cause of his pain, Seungri. Those times were mostly when the younger avoided him, which, by the time, happened more usually than he could stand.

As Seungri said, by the time he would travel more to escape Jiyong, causing their meeting to be harsher, but that also causes Jiyong to grow in self pity even more, making him drink more often as well as smoke more, as noted in the story.

He would disappear for long periods of time, knowing that Seunghyun, somehow, managed to make the younger feel better, and it was enough for him.

As time goes by, though, it becomes hard for Jiyong. The two are no longer driven by the intensity of their relationship, their are growing, getting more mature, and as Seungri notes, they are changing. This leads Jiyong to bury his anger and fury, kind of accepting his feelings for Seungri and Seungri himself, stops playing with Jiyong's jealousy. This causes Jiyong to weaken from time to time, letting Seungri see what he really feels, being gentle and loving, but as soon as Jiyong realizes his mistake, he build his wall again. 

This keeps going, until T.O.P enters the military. Jiyong decides that it's better for him to keep his distance from the younger, as Seunghyun was the only one who knew what was happening between the two, and Jiyong knew that without Seunghyun, Seungri would be able to stand back up, if he was to lose his control once more. Another reason why he disappear, is because he hopes that the distance could help him sorting out his demons, and on top of that, legally speaking, his worried that the relationship he has going with the younger may cause problems during their military service. It's a fact that if you're gay in Korea, you get dishonorably discharge from the military, and it would end their careers –if the fact of being gay itself didn't do the job–. In other words, everything points for Jiyong to leave and keep his distances, so he does. This is also the reason why he doesn't show up even after he's back. Even though his feelings are sorted, he's afraid of many other things: what if Seungri as gotten over him? What if he's hated now? On top of those doubts, there's also the fact that even if he didn't get rejected, Seungri still had his own call-up, and he couldn't risk a dishonorable discharge for him. So he waits.

As soon as Seungri is back, he decides to meet him right away, and when he's at Seungri's loft he's fully prepared to be kicked into pudding, so when he receives the punch he was ready and when Seungri kisses him, forgiving him without having to hear from him, he's happy and relieved. 

Now both of them are mature, both of them have grown from that poisonous obsession, and can start a true loving relationship.

As to why Seungri doesn't let the other explain... well, it's simply because he doesn't need to know the reasons behind Jiyong's behavior, he's just beyond happy that he came back to him to stay.

 

 

 


I hope this explanation is satisfying, if you preferred your interpretation than it's fine by me. Feel free to tell me what you think. Also, if you want to share your own interpretation, go ahead! I would L-O-V-E to hear it ^^   

Comments

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raylee77 #1
This is exactly how I pictured their relationship. They originally never hurt each other, their own suffering was caused by themselves, they ruin themselves by their own thoughts and restraints, because Jiyong wasn't that brave, and Seungri was that brave to accept everything and content with it.
soleyjun #2
I figured it was like yuors explanation says, thank you very much