The words "be happy" are sweet and cute and they usually mean well.

 

When I was little and I was feeling down in the dumps or maybe just had a bad day, my mother used to tell me these words. " Just keep your head up and be happy," she'd say.

 

Well, for a little kid who knew little to nothing about the world and how to deal with my own feelings, it worked...most of the time. Sometimes candy or ice cream did the trick too, though.

 

For a grown adult (well not really I'm still in my tens), who maybe still doesn't know much about the world, but knows more than little 6 year old me did, it doesn't work. I am more aware of the world around me. I know what I'm feeling and how I feel that way. That kind of scares me. Part of me wishes I could go back to those days when I was generally oblivious to the world around me (really all I cared about were Barbies and the power puff girls), but another part of me is also happy that I am able to at least acknowledge when I'm feeling low so that I'm not panicking like my younger self would have.

 

So, why does "be happy" not work for me now? Well, that's just it. It's two words. It's so simple and sounds so easy, but it is really really not. When I have had a bad day or I'm just generally stressing over my anxiety and depression, "be happy", feels like a slap to the face. Now I know that my mother has always said these words because she cares for me and she truly wants me to be happy (which I absolutely love as some parents don't even pay attention to their own children's feelings), but I can't just be happy. These negative thoughts won't just disappear with two words, unfortunately. I wish it worked that way.

 

Sometimes people say it because I may have been moody or stressed for awhile and, frankly, they are done with my "childish" behavior. Mind you, I had a friend who actually told me this. She didn't say those exact words but she did say "just be happy", and it wasn't what she said that bothered me it was the way she said it that did. It was kind of like an "I sorta feel sorry for you, but maybe you should get over it" tone that really threw me off.

 

I'm trying to be happy, I really am, but saying those magic words does not or will not ever make me feel better. 

 

So for those of you who may be thinking, "well what else do I say?", don't worry it's not like the words "be  happy" are poison and once again those of us who aren't exactly fond of those words know you mean well, but maybe next time try giving us a warm hug or letting us vent out our frustrations to you. Trust me, it works a lot better.

 

Sincerely,

A girl who truly wants to "be happy"

 

(P.s. Again, I am in no way saying that everyone hates those words or that you should never say those words, just know when to use them. Some of us who struggle with all these negative emotions just want a little bit more effort? Thank you and have a nice day!)