I don't fit in...

The truth is I don't fit in. I'm social awkwkard most of the time. I am always quiet. I can't relate to most of my classmates because we don't have the same interests. They listen to rap music and twerk. I listen to Kpop and I can't dance at all. I'm a weird nerd that doesn't have with a bunch of people, smoke weed, and get drunk all the time. And I can only be funny and silly with people I know really well. I feel like I can't be myself without eing judged...

I also feel like I don't have a strong group of friends. I don't have anyone who has my back and is always there for me. My friends either hang out with other people I don't know which makes me feel uncomfortable or they (unknowingly) ditch me for new friends. One of my fears are being alone. But for the next couple of months I have left of high school, I feel like I won't grow closer to them. There are probably less than 5 people I will talk to after I walk across the stage.

Right now I only have one best friend and she doesn't even go to the same school as me so it's hard.

I realize that high school is only a small often overrated part of highschool. But I just feel kind of bad when I see pictures on facebook about my squad. Or when all the sports players hang together. I don't feel a part of anything and it makes me feel uneasy. I just wish I was more outgoing. I've gotten better over the years but I still feel like I'm always in the shadows.

I'm not really looking for advice. I just needed to express a thought that has been on my mind for a while now...

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mischievous_akmood #1
I don't really have much advice to offer anyways because I'm kinda like that in a way... I want to be more social and talk to other people (I can if I put my mind to it but it feels really awkward for me and one of my major problems is that I'm willing to talk about anything and everything, but I end up ranting about my own problems instead and giving away too much about myself... not that I mind or care about doing that, but other people are like O.o well then you certainly opened up really easily)
there's times late at night when I scroll through social media and get sad because other people have social lives (or at least they make it seem like that) and I don't have as much of a social life... I wish I could hang out with others whenever I wanted and my friends wanted to do a lot of the same things I want to do and that they would take more pictures of me and talk more often and open up more too but there's nothing much I can do about that ._.
I also know how you feel because sometimes I'll hear people saying stuff like "ohhh I'm so glad I joined this sport/club/activity when I was a freshman because I've gotten hella close to all the members and omfg I'm so glad I met them I don't know at I would do if I hadn't"... I literally did nothing freshman year and sophomore year and even though I could technically do all that right now, it's just... not the same and I won't get to experience it ._. I regret not being more social and outgoing when I started high school ._. but hopefully college will be different? I know social lives don't matter nearly as much in college, but I want to at least talk to more people there...
yah... so I don't really have any advice but I know how you feel, if that helps you at all...
sleepingprince #2
Friends come and go. So do not rely too much on them . But either than that you can always join some club to make new friend and all. You should be proud that you did not do the wrong thing despite that most of your friends are into things that they clearly shouldnt. Keep that up .Always stay away from trouble and live to your own. Dont let others define you and all.
creamysmiles #3
I feel for you. It's like yeah I have friends but i'm not going to be anyone's favourite person i'm just part of a group and that's all there is to it. I felt like my friends were my friends but they didn't think I was their standard. I'm socially awkward and scared to talk to people. And after highschool making friends is pretty hard.
got7forever #4
My idea for you is to maybe join some clubs around school! Like you I used to be really awkward with my glasses and braces back in 6th grade... But then I joined my love and passion, the school volleyball team, and got to meat some really amazing people :D I don't know if this would work for you, but I do wish you luck and I'm here for you girl :) Fighting!
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