Discipline from parents (Open discussion)

I was having a conversation with my AFF friend Heme on FB and she asked for my opinion on child discipline and sent me to a link where this mom/dad put a piece a paper saying "You are grounded for playing on your phone past bed time and you need 500 points to get ungrounded. Here are the chores and the points that go with them"

I thought it was a great idea because it teaches the child discipline not to do that thing again, or learn not to get caught again. 

But people in the comment section were being completely butthurt about it saying its 'too much' and 'harsh'. It really got me thinking. Why is this generation of parents such babies when it comes to disciplining their kids?

My friend wrote a comment saying, "This use to be my chore list. Not too harsh" and some lady gave her such a smart answer, "Well, then, this "get ungrounded" chore list wouldn't work for you since you were already doing this stuff, right? So your ungrounded chore list would've had to have been waaaaaaaaaaay worse, right? Bet you would've thought THAT was too harsh, then, just for playing with your phone after bedtime...right?"

 

I'm just completely dumbfounded. I use to get my beat for disobeying my parents and I turned out just fine, but these parents call abuse on other people if they see a child get spanked. It got me thinking that THESE parents who don't beat their kids are the reason why they have disrespectful kids who go out and do whatever they want whenever they want at 14.

It's these types of parents that you can spot real quick in a mall or grocery store. You can tell a lot by someones parenting by the way their kid acts in public. Some kids need their beat.

 

 

Lets have an open discussion:

What are your views on child discipline? What was your punishment like? How do you feel about these simple punishments being 'too harsh'? 

Feel free to add in your two cents as well

 

Edit* I don't mean just physical punishment. It can either be lectural/mental/physical punishment. I know every kid reacts to a punishment differently. I'm more talking about 'what do you guys think about parents punishing their kids to set them straight compared to others who just let their kid do whatever they want cuz they don't want to upset them'

*Edit 2: When I mean Physically punishment. I am not talking about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I am talking about a good ol' fashion whoopin.

 

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lolllypop #1
my parents never beat me in my life (I'm 15), and my punishments were never about doing chores (I need to do that anyways, to participate in the "family life" LOL). When I'm punished, it's either Im forbidden from using my phone, ipad, computer or watching tv, or my pocket money is cut for a certain period of time, or I cant go out on weekends or (in extreme cases) cant go practice sport (dance, hockey, surf). My parents were always againsf the idea of beating up children, but I got my share of a few spanks XDD And they also NEVER EVER forgive me until im punished.
(sorry for my bad english tho)
beantart #2
come on, i think the suggestion of doing chores is still acceptable. when i was a kid, getting the smack in the was a common thing for me. it hurt but this shaped me to become unspoiled brat.
-B2STfreakk #3
Doing chores isn't bad. My punishment was standing by the door with both my arms raised up straight for hours. If I lowered it one bit, I was smacked on my arms with a chopstick. Parents these days think that it's absolutely okay to let their kids disrespect anyone, even the elders. If it's physical abuse, I'm against it, but if it's like a smack in the or anything, I think it's acceptable.
Redisfierce #4
I was raised by my grandparents and I didn't have chores as a punishment, just daily task. I got spanked which I am not hurt by it. Parents this days think it's okay to let kids curse at them and be disrespectful which is gross and surprising to me. Me and my siblings never raised our voice to elders at all.
newtokpop09 #5
I'm against physical punishment...It might have worked back then but rn in this environment, in this generation, in this society....physical punishment will do nothing to help..back then it was ok because it was widely accepted and nobody took it to heart and seriously but now ...with everything...it will do more harm than good...it's hard to explain in words ....there's nothing wrong with using words...using rational thinking is a very sophisticated way of handling things...like CaptSunRiser's mom.....talking things out and challenging the child to look back at their ways instead of just "beating their up" is much more effective in modern society...things change with time...and disciplining kids is one of the many things that did...I hope you understand that this "generation" isn't a generation of lazy parents who raise disrespectful kids....it's a different generation and you know what..they're kids. We'll learn. Yeah sure, we might say and do some things at some times which makes people feel like we "deserve to get our asses beaten" ..but no ..rn physical punishment is not the way....it might be hard to understand with the generation gap and the different way of thinking but trust me, there's plenty of more ways to discipline a kid and make them grow as a person than to resort to "physically beating" them :)
Memorize #6
I believe that child discipline should never be handled with physical punishment, because it can create resentment towards the parents if the child doesn't understand why mommy or daddy are using their fists on "poor, innocent me."

But I have learned from my parents' beating before, and it shaped me to the person who I am today (so I guess I'm thankful, LOL). Though I have to admit that the scar from receiving pain is psychologically damaging.

There was this one instance where my dad pinched my nose so hard that it turned purple, and the color would not go away for days. I got sent to the principal's office in middle school because of that and I had to make up a story that would sound believable (I still loved him and I knew I was in the wrong anyways).

Not every child benefits from the physical harm done onto them, nor can they find it in themselves to forgive and forget like me, so I guess I'd have to say that parents should resort to informative lectures and self-reflection. Raise up the topic about why is what they're doing wrong, and maybe, just maybe, the kid can at least understand why their parents are reacting that way :)
EriTay #7
People these days associate "punishment" with "abuse" and that's craziness. Especially since a lot black people use the "old" methods of discipline, other people think that we're being raised in abusive households because of spankings. :/ So that punishment where you have to do chores for certain points isn't really much. Because if you don't do those chores, you're gettin spanked. So basically, what are parents doing if their kids aren't doing as they are told? Just saying. "Oh, well"? That's why I'm scared of the time my generation takes control of the society. Because I don't see anyone who can move it forward. I see a bunch of brats :/ So yeah our society nowadays needs to learn how to discipline kids
Heme-san #8
I think it depends on the child. Some kids time out works best, some punishment, some spanking. Which ever one the parent use should always come alone with talking to child. I was a BAD child. I got spankings. My mom tell me I'm getting a spanking, Tell me why I'm getting a spanking, tell me how many times she was gonna pop me with the belt and then repeat to me why I was getting the spanking as I got it. Also my mother never spanked me while she was mad. She'd spank me later after she calmed down from whatever I had done. Now that i look back i know the other option would not have worked on me. Time out to me would just mean at some point I'll be free. Talking to me wouldn't work because i didn't listen. Also levels of discipline matter. Ex: Kid steal cookie of counter after mom said wait till later. Spanking not necessary. Punishment no cookies and a good talking to.
CaptSunRiser #9
I was never given a chore list, nor was I shouted at or beaten by my mother. Instead, I just had to answer one simple question:

"Why did you do that?"

And "I don't know" was not a valid answer. I, even before I became a teenager, had to be held accountable for what I did. I had to justify what I had done and realise that what I had done was wrong. If I couldn't justify it, then I was grounded or lost privileges. If I could take responsibility for what I did wrong, I may have still been grounded or lost privileges, depending on what I did, but it was much less than otherwise. The way my mother saw best to get me to learn was through taking responsibility for my actions. It wasn't someone else's fault that I stole their toy, it was mine because I stole it. It wasn't your fault that I hit you, it was mine because it was me that hit you. What you may have done could be wrong, but I made the choice to hit you, and I had to realise that before any punishment was reduced or taken away. Once I had accepted responsibility, I had to apologise to the person I had wronged, and "Sorry" wasn't sufficient. It had to be a full "I'm sorry for pulling your hair, I promise I won't do it again" thing. I think I valued that more than anything because I learned to take responsibility, not to cover up my wrongdoings or hide them. I mean, at 12 years old, being told "No, I won't let you stay up past 10pm like I usually do because you've done wrong" is less effective than "I'll let you stay up past 10pm like I usually do if you can show me that you have truly learned your lesson."
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