This blog post represents my opinions, and my opinions alone

I don't think I've ever been this confused… until the point where I want to cry.

I have recently entered the dating market, sort of. I've always been available, but since the growth of my self-confidence during the last few months or so, I've become more available to others – if that makes sense. Simply, I'm not as shy anymore and know what I'm worth – sort of. Arrogant, though, is something I am not!

However, I'm starting to become less and less self-confident since I met this guy. Long story short: we met in a dance club, he got my number, we texted for a week before we went on our first date last Friday. It went alright, except for the part where he wanted to change the time one hour before we were supposed to meet, and then he arrived half an hour late; I was annoyed and felt disrespected, to say the least.

He didn't even apologize when he arrived, but did so first when we said our goodbyes – he suggested we met a second time, I teased that we could if he didn't arrive late, and the apology came; I had to force it out of him. That is disrespectful to me, that he didn't even apologize for wasting my time until I reminded him that he did. 

With such emotions, it has strengthened my feelings that I do not click with this guy, that I don't feel any attraction. One date is most likely not enough to say much about the chemistry between us, so we're going on our second date tomorrow. Still, one week of texting and a date has given me a hunch of how I feel.

Also, the bad part is that I avoid answering when he texts, don't want to go on another date, and want to break off contact with him. He feels like the first best, that I settle if I were to choose him. To me, that is not a good feeling. I should be wanting to want to be with him, right? Or at least, see him in a better light than I do and have done for over a week!

Now, to the part that confuses me: my heart says no, my head says that I cannot know thus far. And I feel a pressure. My best friend, who has been in a relationship, her very first one, for over a year now, insists that I go for another date. Roughly three in total, and I can understand and see her reasoning, but my instincts and heart continue to say no. 

A few other friends think that I should pass him on if that's how I feel. Two out of three has no dating experience, however, and the third is quite the serial-dater. That doesn't mean I disregard their opinions, not at all. I value them highly! But, out of everyone I've talked to, my best friend is the one with the most experience. She also has an older sister who's kind and knows the field quite well too. Not to mention her boyfriend. My best friend feels like the most reliable to trust in this situation…

Anyways, we're meeting tomorrow for our second date, as mentioned, and we shall see how it goes… 

That I already see and wish for it to end is not a good sign. At all. 

What do you think? Thank you for reading all this, and I thank you even more if you would come with any advice or suggestions or personal experiences.

Or, maybe I should stop taking advice from others – I have from so many that it strengthens my confusion – and simply listen to myself. I should know what's best for me. But then again, I'm confused; would I truly know, in that case?

This blog post represents my opinions, and my opinions alone